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Short jokes - funny one liners (1961 to 2000)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1961 to 2000. |
Wooden Leg Smith
An elderly man went to his friend's house to have a little chitchat. Then, he told his friend, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
His friend then asked, "So what's the name of the other leg?"
It's So Cold
It's so cold here...
That the local flasher is running up to people describing himself!
Ted and Julie go to bed with e
Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina."
Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Handy Man 'To Do' List
Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
Lego Reopening
Good news, the Lego store has reopened...
People are lined up for blocks!
How do white fairytales st
How do white fairytales start? "Once upon a time,"
How do black fairytales start? "N*** you ain't gonna believe this!"
Boy: you're really pretty
Boy: you're really pretty
Girl:thanks
Boy:I wish there was something between us
Girl:I do too
Boy:really?! Like what?
Girl: a wall!
You know you are getting o
You know you are getting old when the smile beside your bedside isn't that same smile. It's your teeth in a jam jar
Q: Why did the Police Offi
Q: Why did the Police Officer put a bra on the road?
A: To put a booby trap.
Ballerina Toes
Ballerinas are always on their toes...
Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?
Yo momma's so slow when s
Yo momma's so slow when she crossed the street she got a parking ticket.
Yo momma so fat when she t
Yo momma so fat when she trips in California, she lands in The Philippines
Some guy called me a tool.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
It's All in the Name
If your name is on the building, you’re rich...
If your name is on your desk, you’re middle-class...
If your name is on your shirt, you’re neither of the first two!
They Walk While They Play
Why do bagpipe players always walk while they play?
Is it to get away from the noise?
The Late Cable Installer
Applicant: Shows up 45 minutes late for interview to be a cable installer.
Interviewer: “You’re hired.”
Office So Small
I had an office so small...
That when I put the key in the door, I broke a window.
Have To Leave the Room
My office was so small...
I had to leave the room to change my mind.
Selfie In the Shower
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry...
He had selfie steam issues.
Last To Die
When you die, which part of your body is LAST to die?
Your eyes... they dilate!
Urinating in the pool
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool."Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."
"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board?!"
Put It On the Shopping List
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.
Breaking Up
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married... I didn't want him to.
Rain Or Shine Test
Dick: Great News! Teacher said we would have a test rain or shine.
Jane: What’s so great about that?
Dick: It’s snowing.
Million Dollar Smile
I decided to make sure my wife had a smile on her face every morning...
Now I can’t keep sharpies in the house anymore.
