|
Short jokes - funny one liners (1921 to 1960)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1921 to 1960. |
Silence In the Courtroom
Judge: Silence in court! The next person who laughs again will be thrown out of court.
Accused: Hahahaha
Judge: I wasn't talking to you!
Mistaken Identity
When you get older, lack of pep is often mistaken...
Mistaken for patience!
A Breath of Fresh Air
A truck loaded with Vick’s VapoRub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
Make Me Look Sexy
I sat in my hair stylist's chair and said, “Make me look sexy!”
She then got drunk.
An Irish man walks in to a bar
An Irish man walks in to a bar with bandages all round his feet.His friend asked him, "What happened to you?"
"Well," he said, "it all started with a can of soup which said on it 'open can and stand in boiling water for ten minutes'... so i did."
The Big Mount Everest
I built a model of Mount Everest.
My son asked, “Is it to scale?”
I replied, “No... it’s to look at.”
Something That Made You Cry
A literature teacher is explaining the power of poems and stories. "Have you ever read something that made you cry?"
A student replied, "Yeah, my last report card."
Good Neighbor
"Are you going to be using your lawn mower Saturday?"
"Yes, I will be."
"Good... so can I borrow your car then?"
The Brella Inventor
The inventor of the umbrella was originally going to call it brella...
But he hesitated.
Stranded Salesman
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands.
He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.
The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."
The Slammer
Prison is just one word to you...
But for some people, it's a whole sentence.
I Don't Want Any Kids
I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids...
When I got home, they were still there.
Your Wi-Fi Password
Set your Wi-Fi password to 2444666668888888.
So when someone asks tell them it’s 12345678.
Bartender Breakup
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend...
But he kept asking her for another shot.
A group of bats, hanging at th
A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"
Money Under The Pillow
"I wonder why old man Smith puts all his savings under his pillow every night?"
"Maybe he wants people to know that he has enough money to retire on?"
Going Out for Two
Wife: "I am going out for two hours. Do you want anything?"
Husband: "No, that's enough."
Speaking to her two daughters,
Speaking to her two daughters, a mother said, "When we get home you need to clean your bedrooms. Your grandmother is coming to visit us tonight and I want the whole house to look tidy."The younger daughter answered, "We will, Mommy. But isn't that kind of like, lying?"
Answer Machine Greeting
“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life...
Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”
Two longtime friends sipped Sc
Two longtime friends sipped Scotch in a local bar and talked about their troubles."And on top of everything else," said the first, "my wife has cut me down to just once a week."
"That's too bad," agreed his friend, "but it could be worse. I know two guys she's cut off altogether."
A Lesson In Coal
A high school student stared thoughtfully at the second question on his exam, which read, “State the number of tons of coal shipped out of America in any given year.”
Suddenly, his brow cleared, and he wrote, “1492: None.”
Never On Time
Passenger: What good is your timetable, the trains are never on time!
Conductor: And how would you know they were late if it wasn’t for the timetable?
They Say I'm Condescending
People say I'm condescending...
That means I talk down to people.
A man is in a restaurant where
A man is in a restaurant where a pianist is playing in a corner."Do you play things on request?" calls the man to the pianist.
"Oh yes, sir," says the pianist.
"Great," says the man. "Play dominoes."
Relationship Denial
I think there's something wrong with my girlfriend.
She's hallucinating.
She keeps telling me she's seeing other people.
When You Can't Spell
Teacher: What is a synonym?
Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other!
