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Short jokes - funny one liners (3001 to 3040)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3001 to 3040. |
She Takes the Stairs
My girlfriend always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator...
I guess we are raised differently.
Fashion victims? Those with ti
Fashion victims? Those with tie-dyed pants are guilty of jeanocide.“I tried to mine diam
“I tried to mine diamonds but all I found was chalcedony, I'm sard to say.”
Which Transylvanian despot had
Which Transylvanian despot had a reputation for swallowing midgets?The Romans used devastating wo
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.The Bad Knife Thrower
Little Johnny: That knife-throwing act was terrible. I want my money back.
Carnival Owner: What was the matter with it?
Little Johnny: Call that a knife thrower? He got ten chances and he didn’t even hit that girl once!
The latest poll taken by the o
The latest poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem:30% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
70% of respondents answered: "No es una problema serio. "
Special Locket
Seeing her friend Marcia wearing a new locket, Ashley asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” says Marcia, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Larry’s still alive?”
“I know, but his hair is gone.”
Piece of rope
“What did one piece of rope say to the other before going into battle? 'Shall we join the fray?'”
Which member of the royal fami
Which member of the royal family collects photos of fat women?When the saviour of Nottingham
When the saviour of Nottingham Forest got an honourary degree from Oxford, he had to wear a robe and hood.
It is treasonous to tamper wit
It is treasonous to tamper with unlabeled stool samples. You will be branded a tray turd.The movie about pustules was a
The movie about pustules was a pox office smash.Watching Star Wars
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun. I said to keep warm.
She asked, "How warm is it inside?"
I said, "Lukewarm."
My friend knows that a bon mot
My friend knows that a bon mot is like a secret magical password. ‘Oh, pun!', says ami.The Flock Of Sheep
A cowboy was leading a flock of sheep down Main Street when he was ordered to stop by the town policeman.
“What’s wrong?” the cowboy asked. “I was just heading my ewes into a side street.”
“That’s the trouble,” the policeman replied. “No ewe turns permitted on Main Street!”
I can't afford long dist
I can't afford long distance calls. I'm down to my last far thing.Nosey Neighbors
I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she was googling my name last night on her computer...
I saw it clearly through my binoculars!
“On Halloween, what i
“On Halloween, what is the most read part of a newspaper? The 'Horrorscope.'”
A man who touches a woman̵
A man who touches a woman's leg is guilty of massage a knee.I bought some metal boots. The
I bought some metal boots. They lead me astray.I’ll Forget
Bob: Hey Al, you know you owe me $500.
Al: Yes.
Bob: I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll forget half of the money.
Al: That’s perfect, I’ll forget the other half.
Before live-action pornography
Before live-action pornography was legalized, XXX videos were shot exclusively in Playmation.Steadfast In My Beliefs
A trusted aid was counseling the senator, "Some of your constituents are beginning to disagree with you."
The senator replied, "Keep tabs on them. When enough disagree with me to constitute a reliable majority, I'll turn around and agree with them."
