Sport jokes (1966 to 1980)Jokes about sports. These are the jokes listed 1966 to 1980. |
A priest, a doctor, and a prof...
A priest, a doctor, and a professional golfer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.GOLFER: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
DOCTOR: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!
PRIEST: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?
GEORGE: Oh yes. That's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight while saving our clubhouse last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge.
(Silence)
PRIEST: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
DOCTOR: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
GOLFER: Why can't these guys play at night?
Avid golfer...
A couple met at Myrtle Beach and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue their relationship after their vacations were over.
"It's only fair to warn you, Linda," he said. "I'm a golf nut. I live...eat...sleep...and breathe golf."
"Well,..." Linda said, "Since you're being honest, so will I. You see, I'm a hooker."
"I see," he said pensively. Then, he smiled and said..."It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."
#joke #sport #golf #golfer
One Line Zingers
- If Cain and Able were Siamese twins, would they be Cable?
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
- The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
- "I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money.â€
- Warning notice at a seminary swimming pool: “First-year students are only allowed to walk on the shallow end.â€
- "If absence makes the heart grow fonder,†said a minister, “a lot of folks must love our church.â€
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
#joke #sport #swimming
Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up.
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.
What Will You Do For Golf?
Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:
First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth Guy: "I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that the foundation for the new house is being poured next Tuesday."
#joke #sport #golf
A game warden came upon a duck...
A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to "enforce the laws pending".He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, "Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?"
The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden.
The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?"
The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license.
The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?"
The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license.
The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said, "This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon state hunting license?"
Once again, only this time more aggravated, the hunter produced the appropriate license.
The warden, a little miffed at having struck out, handed the ducks back to the hunter and said, "You've got all of these licenses, just where the hell are you from?"
The hunter dropped his pants, bent over, and said "You're so smart, YOU tell ME!"
If you have a referee in footb...
If you have a referee in football, a referee in rugby and a referee in boxing, what do you have in bowls?Prunes and custard
Bill McGarvie, Abbeyhill
If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@ edinburghnews.com
Bill McGarvie, Abbeyhill
If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@ edinburghnews.com
The full article contains 50 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
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- #joke #sport #football #rugby #boxing
