The best jokes (15451 to 15465)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 15451 to 15465. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Knock Knock Collection 137
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Odysseus!
Odysseus who?
Odysseus the last straw!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ogre!
Ogre who?
Ogre take a flying leap!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ohio!
Ohio who?
Ohio Silver!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ohio!
Ohio who?
Ohio feeling!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Okra!
Okra who?
Okra Winfrey!
If you work in an office with ...
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.Eliot Chang: Facebook Me
I hate when I meet a girl, Im trying to get to know her, and shes like, Oh, you can just Facebook me. Bitch, my face is here right now!Tom Papa: No Time for Romance
This is the romantic story of my life; the woman Im going to marry. Romance till the end of time. But then you have kids and pets and in-laws and mortgages and all this other crap. Theres no time for romance. We are now business partners in this awful non-profit organization.Chuck Norris doesn't worry abo...
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.Homosexuality
A young man, in the course of his college life, came to terms with his homosexuality and decided to 'come out of the closet'.His plan was to tell his mother first; so on his next home visit, he went to the kitchen, where his mother was busying herself stirring stew with a wooden spoon. Rather nervously, he explained to her that he had realized he was gay.
Without looking up from her stew, his mother said, 'You mean, homosexual?'
'Well...yes.'
His mother said nothing for several minutes, mulling over what she had just heard. Then, without looking up she said: 'Does that mean you suck men's penises?'
Caught off guard, the young man eventually managed to stammer an embarrassed affirmative; whereupon his mother turned to him and, brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under his nose, snapped:
'Don't you *EVER* complain about my cooking again!'
Why Jesus Was Jewish
Of course Jesus was Jewish. He was 30-years-old, lived with his parents, worked in the family business, and his mom thought he was God's gift to earth.
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member labratcat
A Darkened Theater
A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"
Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice, Jewish girl?"
Trying to Take It With You
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife had gone up in the attic to clean. Coming upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash she exclaimed, "Oh, that darned old fool, I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
Sick of hanging out with his a...
Sick of hanging out with his aunt's kids at family reunions, Newton went off and formulated the law of cousin affect.It was the first time they had...
It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by their silence that they didn't get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke.He said, "I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer replied, "Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why that?"
The Captain said, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer said, "Nooooo, noooo ... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbour. That JAPANESE, not Chinese."
And the Captain answered, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese ... it doesn't matter. They're all alike."
Another 30 minutes of silence. Finally the First Officer said, "No like Jew."
The Captain replied, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"
"Jews sink Titanic."
The Captain tried to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, Spielberg ... no mattah ... all same."
Pearly Gates
A man dies and goes to heaven.As he's standing in line, the pearly gates slam open and a man charges out.
He's dressed in a scrub suit and a white lab-coat, with a stethoscope around his neck. He knocks over most of the people standing in line in his rush to move through the crowd. The man asked St. Peter, "Who was that?"
St. Peter answered "That's just God. Sometimes he likes to play doctor."
