The best jokes (15931 to 15945)

 One Wish To Each

Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."
The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
So, she became a man.

“After the severe sto

“After the severe storm last night people were shocked to hear from electrician that he was ready provide current events on power restoration.”

It was a difficult case for th

It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether the owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity. The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to the club and see the allegedly obscene act.
The judge and the jury watched the act once, focusing on the part where a sexy couple performed the "Dance of Love" with a climactic scene of lovemaking on a bearskin rug. The jury was unable to decide definitely whether it was obscene or not. So the jury members asked to see the act one more time. They watched it carefully again. But they still couldn't reach a decision. So this time they asked the understudies to perform the same act one more time.
Fortunately, the police involved in the case were very understanding. According to the Detective: "It is a difficult matter. The police have watched the show 75 times."

The big city man discovered he

The big city man discovered he had no writing paper at all for his personal correspondence.
He went into the small town near-by and found only an old-fashioned country store. Behind the counter was a really nice looking young redhead, quite obviously a local farm girl.
He asked, "Do you keep stationery?"
"Well," she giggled, "I can...until I have an orgasm, then I just go plain wild and crazy!"

Scratch that Itch

Pool Player #1: "I nicknamed the cue ball on my pool table 'Itch'."

Pool Player #2: "Why?"

Pool Player #1: "I'm always scratching it!"

“I don't like my han

“I don't like my hands. I like to keep them at arm's length.”

“Is an anthill caught

“Is an anthill caught in a twister an anticyclone?”

Fashion Help

The patient goes to the dentist and says, "I have yellow teeth, what should I do?"
The dentist replies, "Wear a brown tie."

“Faux pax - when sayi

“Faux pax - when saying the wrong thing leads to a war.”

Weight puns

“Everyone hated my weight puns. They all left en mass.”

Easy Math

Question on second-grade math quiz: "Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain."
My grandson’s answer: "She was more thirsty."

Term paper

“Handing in his term paper on water bears a day late got Bruno a tardy grade.”

Sisyphus

“My music history professor said that Sisyphus invented rock and roll.”

“Losing all your teet

“Losing all your teeth would really suck.”

“A spinal cord is the

“A spinal cord is the sound of a back breaking.”