The best jokes (16111 to 16125)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 16111 to 16125. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
Answering Machine Message 195
Hello, please send me email instead. I always never playback these stupid answering machine messages. Besides, I am probably online right now.
The first suit?
A little boy opened the big, old family Bible with fascination and looked at the old pages as he turned them.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
cross examination
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so- called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.
With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
Like undies
Passwords are like undies. Do you know why?
- Well for starters, one should not be leave them out where others can see them.
- The need to be changed regularly
- And lastly, they should not be passed on to strangers.
Q: What does every woman...
Q: What does every woman call an intelligent, attractive, caring, loving and sensitive man?
A: A dream.
An Antartian is terribly overw...
An Antartian is terribly overweight, so his doctor puts him on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks," the doctor ordered. "The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the Antartian returns, he's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The Antartian nods, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" the doc questioned.
"No, from skipping."
Short funny jokes-Rebirth
The phrase "dead ringer" refer...
The phrase "dead ringer" refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.Chuck Norris can win tic-tac-t...
Chuck Norris can win tic-tac-toe in one move.Everyday, Chuck Norris goes fo...
Everyday, Chuck Norris goes for a short walk, just to keep the planet spinning.This man comes through a door ...
This man comes through a door to the bar and slipped on a pile of crap, he mumbles and brushes himself off. He orders a drink and sits down. A few minutes later a younger man walks through the door yelling and screaming, and he slips on the pile of crap. He gets up and looks around, and then he sits down next to the older guy. The older man says, "I did that!" The younger man punches the old man and leaves.Natasha Leggero: Boston Blackout
This girl comes up to me with this thick Boston accent and shes like, Hey, youve seriously never woke up at a party and some guy was inside you? I never woke up at a party. Knock Knock Collection 144
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ozzie!
Ozzie who?
Ozzie you later!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pablo!
Pablo who?
Pablo your horn!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pammy!
Pammy who?
Pammy the key, the door is locked!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Paris!
Paris who?
Paris the thought!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Parton!
Parton who?
Parton my French!
Bad weather
This old man went to a whorehouse and said to the manager that he wanted something different.So the manager sent him up to room "69".
He got in there and this woman named Hurricane Sally stripped him down and began working wonders.
Suddenly she pissed on his stomach, he asked, "What the hell was that?"
She replied, "That is the cooling rain falling all over you."
She got at it again and farted in his face.
He said, "What the hell was that?"
She then again replied, "That is the warm ocean winds blowing."
Suddenly the man got up and started to get dressed.
Hurricane Sally said, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Hell, a man can't fuck with this kind of weather!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
