The best jokes (1831 to 1845)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 1831 to 1845. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
A tourist was admiring the nec
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Native American."What is it made of?" she asked.
"Alligator's teeth," the man replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."
"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
Why do you want a divorce?
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
In a supermarket Ivan lost sig
In a supermarket Ivan lost sight of his wife. He comes up to a nice young lady and asks, "Will you talk with me for a couple of minutes, please?""Why should I?"
"It's always the same -- as soon as I get into talking with a pretty woman my wife abruptly pops up from out of nowhere."
Guess What
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime.
Instead of making any official requests to the tower he said, "Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where?"
What do you like?
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."
Put It On the Shopping List
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.
A Breath of Fresh Air
A truck loaded with Vick’s VapoRub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
In love
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
Some Corner of the Earth
I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth...
But unfortunately, the earth is round.
Have It Made
People say that money is not the key to happiness...
But I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
