The best jokes (1846 to 1860)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 1846 to 1860. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
In a supermarket Ivan lost sig
In a supermarket Ivan lost sight of his wife. He comes up to a nice young lady and asks, "Will you talk with me for a couple of minutes, please?""Why should I?"
"It's always the same -- as soon as I get into talking with a pretty woman my wife abruptly pops up from out of nowhere."
Guess What
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime.
Instead of making any official requests to the tower he said, "Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where?"
What do you like?
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."
Put It On the Shopping List
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.
A Breath of Fresh Air
A truck loaded with Vick’s VapoRub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
In love
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
Some Corner of the Earth
I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth...
But unfortunately, the earth is round.
Have It Made
People say that money is not the key to happiness...
But I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
Helmets, Pads, and Gloves
My nephew came over the other day and he was wearing a helmet, shoulder pads, knee pads, and gloves.
He said, "I'm gonna ride my bike!"
I said, "Where? Through a minefield?"
What Is Wrong
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”
No Life Insurance for Grandpa
"Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"
"So you can all be really sad when I die."
An HMO Manager at the Pearly Gates
Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at the pearly gates for admission to heaven.
St. Peter asked them to identify themselves
. One doctor stepped forward and said, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon and helped kids overcome their deformities."
St. Peter said, "You can enter.
"The second doctor said, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped people rehabilitate themselves."
St. Peter also invited him in.
The third applicant stepped forward and said, "I was an HMO manager. I helped people get cost-effective health care."
St. Peter said, "You can come in, too.
"But as the HMO manager walked by, St. Peter added, "You can stay three days. After that, you can go to Hell."
