The best jokes (13216 to 13230)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 13216 to 13230. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
600 Story Hotel
Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.
Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.
The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story.They then started up the steps
After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.
Why did the blonde t
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.Helisoft
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
One day my friend as...
“One day my friend asked me, how do you take such good care of your saxophone. I responded with tenor, love and care.”
Fellow shows up at work Monday...
Fellow shows up at work Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss, figuring the guy got in a fight at a bar asks him, "Where'd you get the shiners?""Got 'em both in church yesterday."
"In church!?! How in the world did you manage to get two black eyes in church?"
"Well, the preacher called a hymn and as we all stood up to sing, I noticed the lady standing in front of me. Her dress was sort of stuck in the crack of her ass, so I reached out and pulled it out for her. She turned around and slugged me in the right eye."
"Well, how'd you get the other one?"
"Well, I figured if she got that mad from me pulling the dress out of the crack of her ass, I'd better put it back."
A student received a software ...
A student received a software package from his friend. But, he didn't have a computer.The label on the package said that the software required "Windows 3.1 or better."
So, he bought a Macintosh.
Knock Knock Collection 156
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Roxie!
Roxie who?
Roxie horrow picture show!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rufus!
Rufus who?
Rufus leaking and I'm getting wet!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Russia!
Russia who?
Russia though you meal and you'll be sick!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ruth!
Ruth who?
Ruth of the matter is!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sabina!
Sabina who?
Sabina a long time since I've seen you!
John Pinette: Ice Skating
Ice skating is now on my list of things in life I never care if I do again. Its like an anti-bucket list -- it rhymes with bucket, I can tell you that much.The spread of Walmart is like ...
The spread of Walmart is like a plague of low-costs.Mathematical solution
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Sheng Wang: Sexual Restraint
My friend, hes a 30-year-old virgin, does not masturbate. Seems to feel morally superior because of his sexual restraint. But he told me that he still gets wet dreams, which makes me think that hes just a lazy dude.A Forester And Lawyer
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.
St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter's holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know.
Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says "Here you go" and goes to leave when the forester says "Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?"
St. Peter says: "Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before."
