The best jokes (13771 to 13785)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 13771 to 13785. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
How does a sundial work?
Son: “Hey Dad, how does a sundial work?”
Dad hands son a phone…
“Ok, now just call someone.”
Son: “Why can’t you do it?”
Dad: “Because that would be a DADdial.”
#joke #short
That's One Way to Order Chicken
Kofi walks in to a restaurant and wants to order chicken. Unfortunately, English is not his first language and he can't remember how to say chicken in English.
Kofi sees the guy at the table next to him with a plate with 4 boiled eggs on it.
Kofi points to the plate of eggs and says to the waiter, “I want their mother!"
Embarrassed meteorologist
“The young meteorologist was embarrassed that he didn’t get the forecast for the tornado correct so he went into abasement to funnel his emotions.”
#joke #short
Dog Jokes 02
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?
A: A jet setter!
Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has?
A: Puppy dogs!
Q: Why did the dachshund bite the woman's ankle?
A: Because he was short and couldn't reach any higher!
Q: Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
A: In the mush room!
Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites!
Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
A: An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!
Q: What do you call an alcoholic dog?
A: A whino!
Q: What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
A: Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!
Q: When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?
A: When the door is open!
Q: Why don't dogs make good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!
Poor typists are rather ron
Poor typists are rather un qwerty nated.#joke #short
A young journalism graduate fr
A young journalism graduate from Cheshire had gone to work for the Liverpool Echo. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest story. An idea came to him and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew of in his home county of Cheshire.Deep in the woods, he came upon a farmers house and decided this would be a good place to start.
He introduced himself to the country farmer and explained why he was there. The farmer named Farmer Mahon agreed to answer his questions.
The reporter asked the farmer what event in his life had made him the happiest?
Farmer Mahon replied, "One time a neighbour lost one of his sheep. We all formed a posse and found it. After we all screwed it we took it back to the farmer that lost it."
"I can't print that," said the reporter, "Is there another event that made you really happy?"
Farmer Mahon thought for a minute and said, "Yep. One time the daughter of another local farmer got lost. She was a good-looking young girl. We all formed a posse and found her. After all of us screwed her, we took her back to her daddy."
Again the reporter knew he couldn't print the story and decided to take a different tack. He asked Farmer Mahon, "Was there any event in your life that has made you really sad?"
Farmer Mahon hung his head and replied, "Well, I got lost once."
#joke #animal #sheep
In the days leading up to Chri
In the days leading up to Christmas, people in San Francisco did everything they could to avoid the mauls, as they were a real zoo. The only people who weren't worried were lawyers with an escape claws.Sense of Direction
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
#joke #short
A young couple had been marrie
A young couple had been married for a couple ofmonths, but the man was always after his wife toquit smoking.One afternoon, she lit up after some love making,and he said, "You really ought to quit."
She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "Ireally enjoy a good cigarette after sex."
He replied, "But they stunt your growth."
She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied henever had.
Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, shesaid, "So, what's your excuse?"
#joke
