The best jokes (14086 to 14100)The best jokes rated by site visitors. Top rated jokes. These are the best jokes rated 14086 to 14100. NOTE jokes sometimes might seem not to be in order. Due to better performance joke top list is refreshed only once daily. |
When a patient regained consci
When a patient regained consciousness after an operation, the surgeon told her: "I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid we're going to have to open you up again. You see, unfortunately I left my rubber gloves inside you."The patient said: "Well, if that's all it is, I'd prefer you to leave me alone and I'll buy you a new pair."
#joke #doctor
When I went to the French poul
When I went to the French poultry farm, it was a mess! The poulet everywhere.#joke #short
My Soviet-made car never worke
My Soviet-made car never worked. It had a Lada problems. It was a Lenin. It kept Stalin; I would always have to use my feet, and Trotsky to work – and that is total Bolshevik!#joke #short
What Are They For?
My son asked me, “Dad, what are condoms used for?”
I said, “Usually to avoid answering questions like this one.”
#joke #short
The Slammer
Prison is just one word to you...
But for some people, it's a whole sentence.
#joke #short
How does a cannibal greet his
How does a cannibal greet his guests?#joke #short
Being poor is absolutely ro
Being poor is absolutely no fund at all.#joke #short
A lady is having a bad day at
A lady is having a bad day at the table in Monte Carlo. Down to her last £100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!
Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
"I don't know, she put everything on number 24 and when 36 came up, she screamed and then fainted."
#joke
Word Knowledge
Teacher: Johnny, what is a protagonist?
Little Johnny: It’s when you’re playing tag with kids from another neighborhood and they bring in a ringer... they're a Pro-Tagonist.
#joke #short
Password Reset
I’ve just reset my password to DelicateLuggageHandler...
I was told it had to be case-sensitive.
#joke #short
The Wash Its
While getting ready for school, our parents would always ask if we washed our "its"....
That's our zits, pits, and private bits.
#joke #short
Dave finally found the nerve t
Dave finally found the nerve to tell his fiancee that he had to break off their engagement so that he could marry another woman."Can she cook like I can?" the distraught woman asked.
"Not on her best day." Dave replied.
"Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do?" she asked.
"No, she's broke."
"Well then, is it sex?"
"Nope,... nobody does it like you, babe."
"Then what is it?? What can she do for you that I can't?"
"She can sue me for child support!"
#joke
Tom had this problem of gettin
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
