Jokes of the day for Thursday, 23 October 2008
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 23 October 2008 |
A tourist walks into a pet sho...
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing round the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please."The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5000."
The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper. "That was a very expensive monkey - most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
"Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looks at the monkeys in that cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10,000 dollars! What does it do?."
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."
The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price tag round its neck says $50,000. He gasps to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
"Well, I don't know if it does anything, but it says it's a Consultant."
CANADIAN TEMPERATURE CONVERSIO...
CANADIAN TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHARTAll temperatures in Fahrenheit
70 - Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.
60 - North Carolinians try to turn on the heat. People in Canada plant gardens.
50 - Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Canada sunbathe.
40 - Italian and English cars won't start. People in Canada drive with the windows down.
32 - Distilled water freezes. Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
20 - Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats. People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.
15 - Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 DEGREES - People in Miami all stop moving. Canadians lick the flagpole.
20 BELOW - Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Canada get out their winter coats.
40 BELOW - Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Guides of Canada are selling cookies door to door.
60 BELOW - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
80 BELOW - Mt. St. Helen's freezes. People in Canada rent some videos.
100 BELOW - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
297 BELOW - Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.
460 BELOW - ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kalvin scale). People in Canada start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 BELOW - @!#$ freezes over.
The Americans win a gold medal in hockey
Hot and cold...
A man walks into a store and he saw a thermos. The clerk walks up to him and asks, "May I help you with anything?"
"Yea! What is that?"
"Why that's a thermos!"
"What's it do?"
"It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!"
"I'll take it"
The next day the man goes to work carrying this thermos. His co-workers ask him, "What's that!"
"It's a thermos"
"What's it do?"
"It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!"
"So whatcha got in it?"
"Two popsicles and a cup of coffee."
Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a ...
Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a dustbin.Donald Goode, Dalkeith
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