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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 09 December 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 09 December 2012

Car problem

A woman came home one day and told her husband: "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."

Her husband asked her what it was and she told him it had water in the injectors. The husband thought for a moment, then said: “I don't mean this badly, but you don't know the injectors from the accelerator."

"No, there's definitely water in the injectors," she insisted.

"OK, Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?" the husband asked.

Car HDR

"In the lake."

#joke
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Really funny jokes-Drownology

An over-smart tourist was traveling by boat in Hong Kong.
he asked the boatman "Do you know how all life on earth came from the sea?"
Boatman: "No!"
Tourist: "Do you know Biology?"
Boatman: "No, Not much!"
Tourist: "Do you know anything about Psychology, Geography, or Geology?"
Boatman: "No"
Tourist: "Really!! Then What the hell do you know, do you want to die of illiteracy!"
After sometime, the boat started to sink, so the boatman asked the tourist :
Boatman: "Do you know Swimology & Escapology?"
The scared Tourist: "No!! why??"
Boatman: "Really!! Well you will Drownology and Crocodilogy will eat your Bodiology and you will Dieology because of your Badmouthology"
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (3)

SLIDESHOW #21 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Groups of Americans were trave...

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through
Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them
through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was
used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were
grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture
when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in
America with your old goats?' A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send
us on bus tours!
#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 6.33/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (3)

Funny video of the day - Treadmill FAIL Compilation 2012!

Treadmill FAIL Compilation 2012! - Lots of funny situation of funny people running tradmill - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 1.57/10

Rating: 1.6/10 (23)

Groups of Americans were trave...

Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through
Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them
through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was
used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were
grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture
when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in
America with your old goats?' A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send
us on bus tours!
#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Funny Photo of the day - Baby with big feet in the pool

Baby with big feet in the pool - Too big feet for such small baby | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.40/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (5)

Sex morality

The Dean of Women was introducing the newcomers to the college and thought fit to touch the subject of sex morality:

"In moments of temptation, ask yourselves just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"

At the end of the lecture she asked if there were any questions. One of the girls timidly raised her hand and said:

"Could you tell us how you make it last one hour?"...

#joke
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)

LIE DETECTOR ROBOT

Dad buys a LIE DETECTOR ROBOT which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner.”Son, where were you today?” The son says “at school dad.” Robot slaps the son! “OK, I watched a DVD at my friends house!” “What DVD?” “Toy story.” Robot slaps the son again! “OK, it was a %&%*o”Dad yells “What! When I was your age I didn't know what %&%* was!” Robot then slaps the dad!Mom laughs “HAHAHA! He's certainly YOUR son.” Robot then slaps the mom….

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 4.86/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (14)

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his ...

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 01 July 2011
  • Currently 3.54/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (24)

Sue

Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba, sure is true." responded the lawyer.

"And now someone is suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?

"Sure is Bubba. But why are you asking?

"Cause what I wanna know is, I was thinkin', "can I sue Budweiser for all the ugly women I've slept with ?"

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 16 December 2009
  • Currently 2.71/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (7)

Three old men were sitting aro...

Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80 year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again."
The 85 year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and it's still a problem."
Then the 90 year-old said, "That's not my problem. Every morning at 6:00 am sharp, I have a good long pee. At around 6:30 am I have a great bowel movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7:00 am.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 17 November 2009
  • Currently 6.30/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (66)

Big Mouth!

A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. "I'll have a pound of that salmon," he said.
"That's not salmon," the clerk said. "It's ham."
"Mister," the customer snapped, "in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 28 April 2009
  • Currently 4.69/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (42)

A very shy guy goes into a bar...

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at thebar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to herand asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for awhile?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep withyou tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinksback to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. Shesmiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm agraduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond toembarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 09 December 2009
  • Currently 5.94/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (71)

Paul F. Tompkins: Airline Security Drawings

As Im standing there, I see they have a little sign with pictures of things you are not allowed to bring on the plane anymore. And they have, like, little drawings: circle, line through it, No! One of the things you cant bring on the plane anymore is a bomb -- no, no, they had a picture, cant do it. And it was the classic cartoon bomb, like the bowling ball with the little sparky whip coming out of it. And then you might think, Oh, I got a way around that. Uh-uh, not so fast -- they also had a picture of the bundle of dynamite with the clock.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 09 December 2010
  • Currently 3.59/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (41)

Women and Bad Weather

Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common?
A: They all get the house.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 09 December 2009
  • Currently 5.06/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (32)

It is said that looking into C...

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 09 December 2011
  • Currently 4.87/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (15)

Pee in the pool....

Little Johnny was approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool.

"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to report you."

"But everyone pees in the pool," insisted Little Johnny.

"That may be," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"

#joke
  • Currently 6.89/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (19)

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