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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 22 April 2014

“Married hang man wer...

“Married hang man were the best at their job, they knew how to tie the knot.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (6)

Play Your Age

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in ‘Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims,
“What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?”
A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests,
“I don't know… why don't you play your age?”
He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Thinking Maybe she'd won, he rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd.
The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
The man is stunned. He asks, “What happened? Is she all right?”

The operator replies, “I don't know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!”

#joke
  • Currently 6.33/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (3)

SLIDESHOW #7 - Funny Photo Slideshow

What are you doing this evening?

Rebecca, the curvy blonde secretary, came out from the cabin of her boss. She was shaking with anger, so a colleague asked her what was wrong.

Rebecca said,"The Boss asked me what was I doing this evening."

The colleague asked, "So what did you say?"

Rebecca answered, "I said I was doing nothing. He gave me 50 pages to type!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 7.06/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (18)

Funny video of the day - Again Changing Wheels/Tyres while driving

Again Changing Wheels/Tyres while driving - Saudis changing Wheels while driving on TOYOTA FJ CRUISER! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (8)

Q: How many men does it take t...

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?
A: No one knows, it's never been done.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Funny Photo of the day - Heart shaped sand

Heart shaped sand - Skilled guy, or fake? | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (12)

A Very Good Reason...

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.

"I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is, he replied.... "Breakfast."

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (3)

Knock Knock Collection 070


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Frida!
Frida who?
Frida be!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Fruit!
Fruit who?
Fruit of the loom!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gabe!
Gabe who!
Gabe it my all!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gable!
Gable who!
Gable to leap buildings in a single bound!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gabor!
Gabor who!
Gabor'n to shop!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (4)

Two dwarfs

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard on."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?"

"I couldn't even get on the f...ing bed!!!"

#joke
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (3)

Snakeskin Punny

What kind of condoms do snakes use?

Anacondoms!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (5)

If paper beats rock, rock beat...

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 13 July 2011
  • Currently 3.22/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (49)

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl stri...

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 22 April 2011
  • Currently 3.64/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (44)

Blondes working on a house

Two blondes were working on a house. The one

who was nailing down siding would reach into

his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss

it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other,

figuring this was worth looking into, asked,

"Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first explained, "If I pull a nail out

of my pouch and it's pointed toward me, I throw

it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed

toward the house, then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got completely upset and

yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward

you aren't defective! They're for the other side

of the house!"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 22 April 2013
  • Currently 5.10/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (31)

Demetri Martin: Thought You Were Someone Else

I was walking down the street, and this guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, Im sorry, I thought you were someone else. I said, I am.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 22 April 2012
  • Currently 3.35/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (23)

Being black

It is hard being black.

We get the bad end of the deal with every sport.

Hockey, you're slappin a black puck around.

Pool, you have a white ball trying to knock you in a hole.

The only thing we have is bowling, where you have a black ball trying to knock down ten rednecks.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by calamjo

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 April 2009
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (12)

An Ideal Marriage

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 April 2010
  • Currently 3.55/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (11)

Singing In Church

A minister decided to try something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out, "Cross!"
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison "The Old Rugged Cross."
The pastor hollered out, "Grace!" The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."
The pastor said, "Power!" The congregation sang "There is Power in the Blood."
The Pastor said, "Sex!"
The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "Precious Memories."
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.73/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (11)

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