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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 08 November 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 08 November 2020

What

What's an Iraqi cannibal's favourite dish?
#joke #short
What">Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.87/10

Rating: 1.9/10 (15)

Performance problem

A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?"
"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proud physician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."
So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street. "Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician, "What does your wife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't been home yet."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.08/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (12)

Coffee Shop

I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.
"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.
The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."

#joke #short #halloween #drinks #coffee
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.42/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (19)

Women and Men...

WOMEN

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.

Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

MEN

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and killing spiders.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 27 November 2014
  • Currently 6.44/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (9)

What does the starship enterpr...

What does the starship enterprise and tiolet paper have in common?
They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 08 November 2009
  • Currently 5.27/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (70)

A man realized he needed to pu...

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 November 2016
  • Currently 8.95/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (56)

Hari Kondabolu: Where Are You From?

Hes like, Hey, man, where are you from? So I told him, Im from Queens, New York. And then hes like, No, I mean where are you really from? Which, for those of you who dont know, thats code for, No, I mean, why arent you white?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 08 November 2010
  • Currently 4.02/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (58)

The original title for Star Wa...

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 November 2011
  • Currently 2.81/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (52)

Now that they allow...

“Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 September 2016
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

He who laughs last thinks slow...

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
#joke #monday #animal #mouse #bird #worm #food #cheese
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 31 October 2010
  • Currently 7.46/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (39)

You Might Be A Redneck If ...

You might be a redneck if...
Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
You fainted when you met Slim Whitman.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
#joke #animal #dog #food #hungry #drinks #beer #sport #baseball #redneck
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 11 December 2016
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

I need

I need a break from my own thoughts.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 31 May 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss, dream?

Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss, dream?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 December 2015
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

APOLLOgize

Whenever a moon landing goes horribly wrong, NASA must APOLLOgize.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

I MISS THE OLD...

I MISS THE OLD CORDED TELEPHONES

THEY WERE KINKY
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 September 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

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