Jokes of the day for Monday, 27 September 2021
| Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 27 September 2021 |
There is no truth to the rumou
There is no truth to the rumour that Vanna White was found dead, disemvoweled.Daddy’s Hair
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.
“He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband’s baldness.
Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so much hair?”
Two old friends met for the fi
Two old friends met for the first time in several years. They had a good talk and one asked, "Is your wife still as pretty as ever?""She sure is," the other replied. "It just takes her longer."
Intelligent life...
It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime.
As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Braun, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.
He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Braun, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars."
He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown.
He said, "But that's impossible . . . we could never do it. . . yes Mr. President," and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously.
"I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars . . . he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
Old Farmer Went To Town To See
Old Farmer Went To Town To See A Movie The Ticket AgentAsked, "sir, What's That On Your Shoulder?" The Old FarmerSaid, "that's My Pet Rooster Chucky . Wherever I Go, ChuckyGoes."I Am Sorry Sir," Said The Ticket Agent . "we Can't AllowAnimals In The Theater."
The Old Farmer Went Around The Corner And Stuffed The Bird Down His Overalls . He Returned To The Booth, Bought A Ticket And Entered The Theater .
He Sat Down Next To Two Old Widows Named Mildred And Marge.
The Movie Started And The Rooster Began To Squirm . The Old Farmer Unbuttoned His Fly So Chucky Could Stick His Head Out And Watch The Movie .
"Marge," Whispered Mildred . "What?" Said Marge
"I Think The Guy Next To Me Is A Pervert."
"What Makes You Think So?" Asked Marge .
"He Undid His Pants And He Has His Thing Out," WhisperedMildred .
"Well, Don't Worry A Bout It," Said Marge.
" At Our Age We've Seen 'em All"
"I Thought So Too," Said Mildred,
But This One's Eatin My Popcorn!"
When in a bar, you can order a...
When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.Bare back...
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, the Indian let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'yahoo' and rode off.
'What did you do to get that Indian so excited?' asked the service station attendant.
'Nothing,' shrugged the woman, 'I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.'
'Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians ride bareback...'
The vet
There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.
Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.
He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way, you get your dog back!"
A Confident Genius
A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000."
The idiot says, "Okay."
The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5.
The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?"
The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5,000.
The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?"
The idiot hands over $5.
