Jokes of the day for Saturday, 22 October 2022
Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 22 October 2022 |
This Town Ain't Big Enough
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided...
If cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone!
Ducks can be interesting. They
Ducks can be interesting. They have such aquacktic personalities.What Do You Want For Our 40th Wedding Anniversay?
John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
"Would you like a new mink coat?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No," she responds.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests.
She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."
"Well what would you like for our anniversary?" John asks.
"John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," says John.
While the bar patron savored a...
![While the bar patron savored a...](/jokes-archive/2009/10/22/While-the-bar-patron-savored-a-.jpg.400.jpg)
"I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him.
"What are you celebrating?" he asked.
"For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "Today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass. "As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile."
"How did it happen?"
"I switched cocks."
"What a coincidence," she said, smiling.
A man awoke one evening to dis...
![A man awoke one evening to dis...](/jokes-archive/2010/10/22/A-man-awoke-one-evening-to-dis-.jpg.400.jpg)
Getting to Heaven from the Post Office
A preacher, newly called to a small country town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office.
After getting his answer, the minister thanked the boy and said, “If you’ll come to the community church this evening, you can hear me tell everyone how to get to heaven.”
“I don’t know, sir,” the boy replied. “You don’t even know how to get to the post office!”
From "The Book of Church Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009. Used by permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc.
A guy walking down a street on...
![A guy walking down a street on...](/jokes-archive/2015/05/08/A-guy-walking-down-a-street-on-.jpg.400.jpg)
The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"
The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."
The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"
The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"
Orange
![Orange](/jokes-archive/2015/06/21/Orange.jpg.400.jpg)
The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...'"
Restless Little Girl
![Restless Little Girl](/jokes-archive/2022/12/11/Restless-Little-Girl.jpg.400.jpg)
Dan Cummins: Greeting Card Writer
![Dan Cummins: Greeting Card Writer](/jokes-archive/2010/06/20/Dan-Cummins-3A-Greeting-Card-Writer.png.400.jpg)
The robbery at the Saudi garment
![The robbery at the Saudi garment](/jokes-archive/2023/06/27/The-robbery-at-the-Saudi-garment-.jpg.400.jpg)
Three women go down to Mexico...
![Three women go down to Mexico...](/jokes-archive/2018/06/22/Three-women-go-down-to-Mexico-.jpg.400.jpg)
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
Brian Regan: Einstein
![Brian Regan: Einstein](/jokes-archive/2010/05/15/Brian-Regan-3A-Einstein.jpg.400.jpg)