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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 22 October 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 22 October 2022

This Town Ain't Big Enough

A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided...
If cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Ducks can be interesting. They

Ducks can be interesting. They have such aquacktic personalities.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 13 September 2020
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #116 - Funny Photo Slideshow

What Do You Want For Our 40th Wedding Anniversay?

John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.

"Would you like a new mink coat?" he asks.

"Not really," says Mary.

"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.

"No," she responds.

"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests.

She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."

"Well what would you like for our anniversary?" John asks.

"John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.

"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," says John.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 09 November 2016
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

While the bar patron savored a...

While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, "This is a special day. I'm celebrating."

"I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him.

"What are you celebrating?" he asked.

"For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "Today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass. "As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile."

"How did it happen?"

"I switched cocks."

"What a coincidence," she said, smiling.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 October 2009
  • Currently 6.31/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (80)

A man awoke one evening to dis...

A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his address, to report the prowlers and possible burglary. The operator at the other end said "Are they in your house?" He said they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. He thanked the operator, hung up the phone and counted to 30 and called again. "I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well you do not have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!" Within seconds there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fire engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, "I thought you said you had shot them all!" The man answered, "I thought you said there were no police available!"
#joke #policeman
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 22 October 2010
  • Currently 7.02/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (52)

Blonde v. Mosquito

Q: What is the difference between a blond and a mosquito?

A: A mosquito quits sucking after you hit it.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 October 2009
  • Currently 4.02/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (54)

Blonde Restroom Attendant

Q: Why did the blonde quit her job as a restroom attendant?
A: She couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 October 2011
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (40)

Getting to Heaven from the Post Office

A preacher, newly called to a small country town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office.
After getting his answer, the minister thanked the boy and said, “If you’ll come to the community church this evening, you can hear me tell everyone how to get to heaven.”
“I don’t know, sir,” the boy replied. “You don’t even know how to get to the post office!”
From "The Book of Church Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009. Used by permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 October 2011
  • Currently 6.27/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (37)

Right baby

A Brit, a Welsh fellow, and a Pakistani gentleman were seated in the waiting area of a local hospital's maternity ward.


A nurse appears and informs the men, "Apologies, but we have encountered a mix-up, and we're unsure which baby belongs to which mother. Could any of you assist in figuring this out?"


The British man rises to the occasion and offers his help. He enters the ward and, after a short while, emerges holding a baby who is clearly of Pakistani descent. The Pakistani man stands up, exclaiming, "What do you think you're doing?!"


To which the British man replies, "Look, one of those babies is Welsh, I'm not taking any chances!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 9.17/10

Rating: 9.2/10 (6)

Buying Stamps for Hanukkah

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Hanukkah stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman replies, "Oh my. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 05 August 2015
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

At a local coffee bar, a young...

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain. And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Girl, if that's all you want, get a TV!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 14 May 2018
  • Currently 8.56/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (16)

Late Bus

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'.
The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 08 May 2013
  • Currently 7.64/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (14)

Southwest

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "yes she did."
"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 November 2012
  • Currently 9.03/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (33)

Hot Water

John works hard and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she blindfold him and takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, John! How ya doin?"
Once inside his wife removes the blindfold but she's puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says John. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks John if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the first nine, honey.
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around John, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Johnny. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
John's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. John follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
John tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him or someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says, "Geez John, you picked up a real bitch this time."  

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 21 August 2015
  • Currently 9.18/10

Rating: 9.2/10 (17)

Q. What do you call a polar be...

Q. What do you call a polar bear with ear muffs?
A. Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 26 November 2014
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

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