Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 08 November 2022
Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 08 November 2022 |
Home for the Holidays
![Home for the Holidays](/jokes-archive/2018/04/02/Home-for-the-Holidays.jpg.400.jpg)
The heart surgeon was also a t
The heart surgeon was also a talented ventricle ist.Student exams
![Student exams](/jokes-archive/2016/11/26/Student-exams.jpg.400.jpg)
Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead.
Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor told them that they could have another day to study.
That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything. Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to separate classrooms to take the exam.
Each shrugged and went to two different parts of the building. As each sat down, they read the first question. "For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom."
At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease. Then, the test continued.
"For 95 points, tell me which tire it was."
Quit Smoking
![Quit Smoking](/jokes-archive/2015/08/27/Quit-Smoking.jpg.400.jpg)
A young couple had been married for a couple of months, but the man was always after his wife to quit smoking.
One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."
She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex."
He replied, "But they stunt your growth."
She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied he never had.
Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse?"
What does the starship enterpr...
![What does the starship enterpr...](/jokes-archive/2009/11/08/What-does-the-starship-enterpr-.jpg.400.jpg)
They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons.
A man realized he needed to pu...
![A man realized he needed to pu...](/jokes-archive/2016/11/08/A-man-realized-he-needed-to-pu-.jpg.400.jpg)
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
Hari Kondabolu: Where Are You From?
![Hari Kondabolu: Where Are You From?](/jokes-archive/2010/11/08/Hari-Kondabolu-3A-Where-Are-You-From-3F.jpg.400.jpg)
The original title for Star Wa...
The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.Did you ever notice?
![Did you ever notice?](/jokes-archive/2015/05/10/Did-you-ever-notice-3F.jpg.400.jpg)
Three nurses sadly pass awa...
![Three nurses sadly pass awa...](/jokes-archive/2018/08/21/Three-nurses-sadly-pass-awa-.jpg.400.jpg)
Three nurses sadly pass away. They rise up into heaven, and there they approach the gatekeeper to plead their case for entering paradise.
So the keeper points to the first nurse, who says: “I worked in an emergency room. I treated many people, and always did my best to help. And although sometimes we would lose patients, I still think I deserve to enter.”
The gatekeeper glances at her file and admits her to heaven.
The second nurse then says, “I used to work in the operating room, assisting surgeons. It was a lot of stress, and we lost many people, but I always did my best.”
The keeper glances at her file and motions her to enter.
“And you?” He asks the third nurse.
“I was a case manager for an HMO. I worked with thousands of patients.”
The gatekeeper takes a long and careful look at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts entering digits quickly, looking back from time to time at the woman’s file. After a few minutes like this, the keeper looks up, smiles at her and says: “Congratulations! You’ve been admitted to heaven… for five days!”
Experimental Pill
![Experimental Pill](/jokes-archive/2014/05/12/Experimental-Pill.jpg.400.jpg)
A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex.
He gives her a pill but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner. At dinner that night, she does just that.
About a week later she's back at the doctor and tells him, "The pill worked great! I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said.
It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, pushed all the food and dishes to the floor, grabbed me, ripped off all my clothes and ravaged me right there on the table."
The doctor says, "Oh dear -- I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill
was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
The lady replied, "That's very kind - but I don't think the restaurant will let us back in anyway."
A very drunk gent checked into...
![A very drunk gent checked into...](/jokes-archive/2016/09/12/A-very-drunk-gent-checked-into-.jpg.400.jpg)
When he returned, the drunk remarked, "It must be hard to buy a bottle in this town on Sunday."
"There was no trouble with the whiskey," replied the bellboy, "but it's tough finding a Sunday paper on Tuesday."
On their 40th wedding annivers...
![On their 40th wedding annivers...](/jokes-archive/2015/05/27/On-their-40th-wedding-annivers-.jpg.400.jpg)
"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"
Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness – and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."