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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 07 December 2022

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 07 December 2022

NED: I

NED: I got into an argument with a midget today.
ED: Really?
NED: Yeah, we just didn't see thigh-to-eye.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

Psychic Girlfriend

I almost had a psychic girlfriend...
But she left me before we met.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 28 September 2022
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #47 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Where Have I Met You?

"I've been racking my brains, but I can't place you,” one man said to another at a gathering. “And you look very much like somebody I have seen a lot—somebody I don't like, but I can't tell you why. Isn't that strange?”"Nothing strange about it,” the other man said. “You have seen me a lot, and I know why you resent me. For two years I passed the collection plate in your church.”
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 May 2018
  • Currently 6.07/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (15)

Longitude and latitude

The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading.

He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes. Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude..."

A student's voice broke the confused silence, and volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone, sir."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 24 December 2016
  • Currently 7.22/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (18)

200 Bucks

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell.
The wife answers the door.
"Hi, is Tony home?"
"No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
"No come in."
They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Sara thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, "You know, your weird friend Chris came over."
Tony thinks about this for a second and says, "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"    

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 October 2015
  • Currently 9.29/10

Rating: 9.3/10 (7)

The new minister's wife had a ...

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family.The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it.
When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again.
Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister. Finally, the minister stood and shouted out,"Having children is an act of God!!"
An older man in the back stood and shouted back, "Rain and snow are acts of God, too, and we wear rubbers for them."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 December 2009
  • Currently 6.03/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (65)

Chris Rock: Natural Causes

When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, its natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes. Cause if you was younger, youd got out of the way.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 December 2010
  • Currently 4.74/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (61)

Bag

Saddam sent his son shopping to get some food.

His son came back with the food on his head.

So Saddam says "Why have you got the shopping on your head?"

The son replies, "Because there is no Baghdad!"

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Calamjo

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 December 2010
  • Currently 3.94/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (53)

End of the earth

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?

Submitted by sai1ram

Edited by Curtis

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 07 December 2011
  • Currently 5.47/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (43)

Embarrassing Compulsion

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this."

Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the man see an analyst about his problem.

"I happen to have the name of a psychoanalyst," the bartender said. "My brother and my wife have both been treated by him, and they say he's as good as they get."

Six months later, the man was back.

"Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, serving a glass of white wine.

"I certainly did," the man said. "I've been seeing the psychoanalyst twice a week." He took a sip of the wine, then he threw the remainder into the bartender's face.

The flustered bartender wiped his face with a towel. "The doctor doesn't seem to be doing you any good," he sputtered.

"On the contrary," the man claimed, "he's done me world of good."

"But you threw the wine in my face again!" the bartender exclaimed.

"Yes," the man replied. "But it doesn't embarrass me anymore."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 10 June 2017
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

Christmas sign of the times....

As a little boy climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 05 March 2017
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (23)

April Fool's Day - Moldy sandwich

Send your kid to school with a moldy sandwich. The sandwich is fine, of course. It’s the sandwich bag that has green markings on it.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 25 March 2015
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Now that they allow...

“Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 September 2016
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

The newlywed wife said to her...

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 28 June 2018
  • Currently 6.58/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (12)

Baptism

Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"

"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 13 October 2017
  • Currently 9.15/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (27)

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