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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 09 February 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 09 February 2023

Nigerian online scam artists a

Nigerian online scam artists are actually based in E-gypt.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Calming Tropical Fish

Apparently, keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain.
Must be all the indoor-fins.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #63 - Funny Photo Slideshow

The Baseball Playoffs are On!

Sidney telephones Rabbi Levy. He says, "Rabbi, I know tonight is Yom Kippur, but tonight the Yankees are in the playoffs. Rabbi, I'm a life-long Yankees fan. I've got to watch the Yankees game on TV."Rabbi Levy replies, "Sidney, that's what video recorders are for." Sidney is surprised. "You mean I can tape Yom Kippur?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.92/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (13)

The End Of The Ham

A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking.

Her friend asked her,”Why did you cut off the end of the ham”?

And she replied ,”I really don’t know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to.”

Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, “I really don’t know, but that’s the way my mom always did it.”

A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, “Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?”

Her grandmother replied, “Well dear, otherwise it would never fit into my baking pan.”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 26 February 2017
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (14)

In a crowded city at a crowded...

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a stunningly beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight black leather mini skirt with matching leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the bus' first step.
So, slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still could not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more.
And for a second time she attempted the step and once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
The pretty young woman went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!!!"
At this the Texan drawled, "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind of figured that we were friends."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 09 February 2020
  • Currently 9.14/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (58)

A woman goes into a sporting g...

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle.
"It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk.
"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.
"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 09 February 2009
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (39)

A blonde, a brunette, and a re

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:
"How many D's are there in "INDIANA JONES""? The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One".
The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.
The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES"? She immediately says "One". The interviewer says, "OK, we'll let you know".
Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES". She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm - wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"
After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two"
The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, now tell me, how the hell did you arrive at this answer?"
She starts singing "Da Da Dah Dahhh Dah Dah Da Da Dah Dahh Dah Dah ..."
(The theme song for Indiana Jones)
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 09 February 2016
  • Currently 2.81/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (32)

Knock Knock Collection 143


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Othello!
Othello who?
Othello you thalked to me!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Otis!
Otis who?
Otis a sin to tell a lie!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ottawa!
Ottawa who?
Ottawa know you're telling the truth?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oewn!
Owen who?
Owen you open this door, I'm going to give you such a roasting!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Owl!
Owl who?
Owl Aboard!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 09 February 2009
  • Currently 3.08/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (26)

husband, while on a business t...

husband, while on a business trip to a hill station sent a telegram to his wife "I wish you were here." The message received by the wife was "I wish you were her."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 09 February 2010
  • Currently 5.04/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (25)

Proof That Man Evolved from Apes

Proof That Man Evolved from Apes
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 30 January 2017
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

First Guy to Drink Milk @JoeMande asks the important historical questions. http://on.cc.com/1seRxDJ

@JoeMande asks the important historical questions.

Who was the First Guy to Drink Milk?

He must be the biggest creep of all time

http://on.cc.com/1seRxDJ

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 26 January 2015
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Speed Limit

Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, said, "Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't doing over the speed limit! What did you pull me over for?"
"Ma'am," the officer said, "You should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous".
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.
The officer, trying not to laugh, explains that 22 is the route number, not the speed limit. A little embarrassed, the woman smiled and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone ok? These women seem badly shaken and haven't said a word since I pulled you over."
"Oh! they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 142" ...

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 09 September 2013
  • Currently 4.11/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (9)

Ballerina Costumes

“Costumes are very important for a ballerina. She keeps them in her special tulle box.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 19 June 2020
  • Currently 2.08/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (12)

We all have times when life feels hard

We all have times when life feels hard; when we’re frustrated and tired and just want to hide away. If that’s you right now, don’t worry – every caterpillar has to rest to become a butterfly and you’ll soon find your wings again. In the mean time, let your Angels wrap you in theirs. You are so loved.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 June 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Old Mrs. Pierpoint

Worried that they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the apartment next door, the mother said to her son, "Tony, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Pierpoint is?"

A few minutes later, Tony returned.

"Well, is she all right?" asked the mother.

"She's fine, but she's rather annoyed with you," remarked Tony.

"At me?" the mother exclaimed. "Whatever for?"

Tony replied, "Mrs. Pierpoint said it's none of your business how old she is."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 16 February 2017
  • Currently 7.71/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (14)

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