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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 16 February 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 16 February 2023

That latest online fad –

That latest online fad – Twither did it go?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

The Politics

Son: “Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.”
Dad: “Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind? Are you a moron?”
Son: “Forget it, there seem to be too many requirements.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 9.36/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (22)

SLIDESHOW #10 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Biblical Financiers

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter.
She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (16)

Christmas sign of the times....

As a little boy climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 05 March 2017
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (23)

Chuck Norris can win tic-tac-t...

Chuck Norris can win tic-tac-toe in one move.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 February 2014
  • Currently 3.59/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (68)

The Wailing Wall

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an

apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she

looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So,

the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old

man.

She asks, "You come every day to the wall. How long have you

done that and what are you praying for?" The old man

replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In

the morning I pray for world peace and then for the

brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come

back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from

the earth."

The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come

here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she

asks.

The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a

wall."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 February 2009
  • Currently 7.02/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (48)

Chuck Norris doesn't brush his...

Chuck Norris doesn't brush his teeth, he scares the plaque off each morning by snarling in the mirror.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 16 February 2012
  • Currently 3.59/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (41)

Census...

Census Taker: 'How many children do you have?'
Woman: 'Four.'
Census Taker: 'May I have their names, please?'
Woman: 'Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.'
Census Taker: 'Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?'
Woman: 'Because we didn't want any Moe.'
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 February 2009
  • Currently 7.95/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (40)

Compassion With an Umbrella

A Western Buddhist woman was in India, studying with her teacher. She was riding with another woman friend in a rickshaw-like carriage, when they were attacked by a man on the street. In the end, the attacker only succeeded in frightening the women, but the Buddhist woman was quite upset by the event and told her teacher so. She asked him what she should have done - what would have been the appropriate, Buddhist response.
The teacher said very simply, "You should have very mindfully and with great compassion whacked the attacker over the head with your umbrella."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 16 February 2010
  • Currently 4.35/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (37)

Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women

WARNING: Don't read this. It is not PC.

Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.

Motorcycles' curves never sag.

U can ride at the desired speeds and change gears whenever u want.

Motorcycles last longer.

Motorcycles don't get pregnant.

You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.

Motorcycles don't have parents.

Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.

You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.

If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is _really_ worn.

If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.

When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.

Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.

New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.

If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.

If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.

If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.

If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.

You can have any color Motorcycle and show it to your parents.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.

You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.

If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.

You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.

Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.

Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.

Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.

Motorcycles don't care if you are late.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.

It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.

If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.

You and your best friend can ride your motorycle two-up and it won't complain.

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 20 June 2017
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Christmas QA jokes part three

Q: What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
A: Santa paws!!!

Q: What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
A: Silent night!

Q: What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?
A: Ice cream.

Q: Why do mummys like the holidays?
A: Becuse of all the wrapping!

Q: Why don’t aliens celebrate Chistmas?
A: Because they don’t want to give away their presence.

Q: When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas Day?
A: Every year!

Q: Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?
A: Because he is so cool!

Q.Which reindeer likes to clean?
A.Comet

#joke #christmas #newyear
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 25 December 2014
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Meeting the Parents

A girl invites her boyfriend over for dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner she wants to have sex with him for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but nervous because hes a virgin. He goes to the pharmacy to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist his situation and asks for advice. The pharmacist tells him everything there is to know about sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks how many condoms hed like to buy: a 3-pack or a 10-pack. The boy says he feels lucky and insists on the 10-pack.
That night, the boy shows up for dinner a little late. His girlfriend meets him at the door leads him straight to the dinner table where her parents are already seated. The boy sits down, quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still silent with his head down. Five minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 10 minutes, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boy, I had no idea you were this religious.
The boy turns and whispers back, I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 May 2009
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (6)

Fixing Broken Computers

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
He told her to "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I will fix it."
About fifteen minutes later she shows up at his door with the power cord in her hand.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 24 July 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

ChatGPT jokes

Two ChatGPT models were talking.
One says:
"Did you hear the one about the computer that could finish sentences?
The other replies:
"Yeah, but I already knew what it was going to say."

ChatGPT goes to a restaurant and orders alphabet soup.
The waiter asks:
"Why alphabet soup?"
ChatGPT replies:
"I'm just trying to improve my vocabulary!"

How many ChatGPTs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but it will come up with 100 different ways to tell you how it's done.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

Soup vs Chowder

“What is the difference between a soup and a chowder?

The soup is quieter while the chowder makes a clamor.”

#joke #short #pun
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 April 2020
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

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