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Jokes of the day for Friday, 16 June 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 16 June 2023

When world was created

VP candidate Sarah claims to know that the world was created 6,000 years ago—but most Palin-ontologists would disagree.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

17 Dad jokes and puns for Father's day

Third Sunday of June is Father's Day. Check out Jokes for Father's Day to share with your father.

Cowboys hung lanterns from their saddles at night,
It's the first example of Saddle Light Navigation...

Prison may be just one word to you.
But to others, it’s a whole sentence

Why did the kids think a blanket was the perfect Father's Day gift?
They thought dad was the coolest.

What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed.

How do dads like their steak on Father's Day?
On a plate.

Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
It lost its filling.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.

Did I tell you I ordered both a chicken and an egg from Amazon?
I'll let you know.

Did I tell you I dreamt about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night?
Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

You know why you should avoid the new Lego store when it opens tomorrow?
People will be lined up for blocks. I don't have a dad bod.
It's a father figure.

There's something about those trees I just don't trust.
They seem kind of shady.

My wife laughed when I said I could make a car out of macaroni.
You should've seen her face when I drove pasta!

I used to play piano by ear
but now I use my hands.

You did a grape job
raisin me, dad.

Dad, you're a real
fungi.

#joke #animal #chicken #fruit #orange #food #egg #steak
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

So Much Debt

I have so much debt...
I can start a government.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.92/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (13)

Flea for Your Life

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his life and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”His son asked, “But what happened to the flea?”
#joke #short #food #salt
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 11 January 2023
  • Currently 8.73/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (11)

Olive

A blonde was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick.
"Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive.
"Big Deal," muttered the blonde. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."      

#joke #blonde #food #olive
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 July 2021
  • Currently 6.67/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (15)

Please stand up

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.

"Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked.

The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 10 July 2017
  • Currently 8.95/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (125)

Langauge

Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at the Bronx Zoo and there are snakes slithering all over the place.

Frantically, the keeper tries everything, but he can't get them back in their cages. Finally he says, "Quick, call a lawyer!"

"A lawyer? Why??"

"We need someone who speaks their langauge!"

#joke #lawyer #animal #snake
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 16 June 2009
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (43)

What a mess!

Have you heard about the elephant with diarrhea?

It's all over town!

Submitted by Glaci

Edited by Curtis

Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 16 June 2011
  • Currently 4.34/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (41)

Chuck Norris can delete the Re...

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 June 2013
  • Currently 2.61/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (41)

Do Cats Go to Heaven?

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."
The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."
God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore."
God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?"
The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"

#joke #animal #cat #dog #mouse #mice #food #meal
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 16 June 2009
  • Currently 6.58/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (36)

A Little Cannibalism Humor, Folks

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 June 2013
  • Currently 3.41/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (34)

Prayer for the Winning

Q: What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

A: In a casino, you really mean it.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 01 December 2014
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

A doctor is complaining to a mechanic...

A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."

Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 24 August 2011
  • Currently 4.64/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (50)

A college pizza delivery boy a...

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
#joke #food #pizza
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 26 September 2014
  • Currently 5.80/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (5)

iPhone 11 Max cameras

Why do the iPhone 11 Max cameras look like a stove?

Because Tim cooks!

Author Peter Pirc

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 26 September 2019
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

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