Popular jokes (1 to 15)

Google's pizza

- Hello! Gordon's pizza (Pizza Hut)?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.

- So it's a wrong number? Sorry
- No sir, Google bought it (Google bought Pizza Hut).

- OK. Take my order please
- Well sir, you want the usual?

- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID data sheet, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizzawith cheeses, sausage, thick crust.

- OK! This is it ...
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato.?

- What? I hate vegetables.
- Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

- How do you know?
- We crossed the number of your fixed line with your name, through the subscribers guide.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

- Okay, but I do not want this pizza!,I already take medicine ...
-Excuse me, but you have not taken the medicine regularly, from our commercial database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at Drugsale Network.

- I bought more from another drugstore.
- It's not showing on your credit card statement

- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement

- I have have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you bought them from undeclared income source.

-WHAT THE HELL?
- I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

- Enough! I'm sick of google, facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone line and no one to watch me or spy on me

- I understand sir but you need to renew your passport first as it has expired 5 weeks ago

24 Leap Day Jokes - Make Every February 29th memorable

Trying to figure out why 2024 will be longer than 2023…
But so far, nothing leaps to mind.

What’s a great thing about leap-year jokes?
That you only hear them repeated every 4 years.

If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year.

Why did the man get arrested on Leap Day?
Because he was doing 29 in a 28 zone.

What do you call a frog born on February 29?
A leap frog

What do Lawyers do on leap day?
They jump to conclusions

How do you know it’s almost Leap Day?
When it is only a hop, skip and a jump away.

What do athletes wear during a Leap Year?
Jumpsuits.

What do kids play during a Leap Year?
Hop-scotch.

What do you call a surgery during a Leap Year?
A hop-eration.

Birthdays are good for your health.
Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
RIP people born on the 29th of February.

October 31st should be a leap year.
One day you’re having a good time with Halloween. Then it’s 3 years of being ghosted.

Today is a leap day.
Guess you should jump with joy.

Yo mama so old, she even lived through the first leap year.

Are you gonna buy into an annual subscription of any kind?
Do it on February 29, you might get it free for the next four years based on poor code!

Happy 2025 to all.
Remember we must skip 2024 — it’s a leap year.

What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?
Hip Hop

How did the leap year party go?
It was jumping all night long!

Why did the calendar feel unbalanced during leap years?
Because it had an extra day to juggle!

Why don't lions like Leap Day?
Because they are always jumping through hoops.

What does a captain do on Leap Day?
Jump ship.

I'm going to get married on February 29th, so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years.

Why was February so popular with the other months?
Because it brought an extra day of fun to the party!

Why don’t we ever plan important events on February 29th?
Because it’s too risky to take a leap of faith!