Popular jokes (21031 to 21045)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Question And Answer Blond Jokes
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E, between M and W, or at the end?"
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep from bruising their ears.
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
The seven most important men i...
The seven most important men in a woman's life:(1)Doctor: because he says "Take off your clothes."
(2)Dentist: because he says "Open wide."
(3)Milkman: because he says "Do you want it in the front or back?"
(4)Hairdresser: because he says "Do you want it teased or blown?"
(5)Interior Decorator: because he says "Once it's in, you'll love it"
(6)Banker: because he says "If you take it out too soon you'll lose interest."
(7)Hunter: because he always goes deep in the bush, always shoots twice,and always eats what he shoots.
Internet Connection
The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy...
So I moved the modem to the barn.
Now I have stable WiFi!
One night a lady with a black
One night a lady with a black eye stumbled into a police station. She told the desk sergeant that she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the face and knocked out cold.An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a few minutes later, also with a black eye.
"Did you get hit by the same attacker?" his captain asked.
"No, sir," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."
Two Polish guys went away on t
Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital."Well, Doc," he inquired anxiously, "Is he going to make it?"
"It's tough," said the doctor. "He'd have a better chance if you hadn't gutted him first."
Bill Gates cannot hire houseke...
Bill Gates cannot hire housekeepers, although he has interviewed hundreds.Everyone he interviews says they don't do windows.
Vaseline research
A woman answers the door to a market researcher."Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?"
"Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns."
"Do you use it for anything else?"
"Like what?"
"Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex."
"Oh, of course. Yes, we smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep the kids out."
Resolved Settlement
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in...
A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
Short funny jokes-Kiss goodbye
The fishing season hasn't ope
The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks, "Any luck?""Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday," he boasts.
"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger.
"Nope."
"Well, meet the new game warden."
"Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?"
"Nope."
"Meet the biggest liar in the state."
Birth control pills....
An elderly woman went into the doctorÂ’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "IÂ’d like to have some birth-control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but youÂ’re 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "Simple. I put them in my granddaughterÂ’s orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."
How Far To The Town?
A unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a hot blistering day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town.
A rancher rode past.
"Say, friend", called out one of the men, "how far is it to the next town?"
"Oh, a matter of two miles or so, I reckon," called back the rancher. Another long hour dragged by, and another rancher was encountered.
"How far to the next town?" the men asked him eagerly.
"Oh, a good two miles."
A nearly half hour longer of marching, and then a third rancher. "Hey, how far's the next town?"
"Not far," was the encouraging answer, "only about two miles."
"Well," sighed the optimistic sergeant, "thank God, we're holding our own, anyhow!"
