Popular jokes (22651 to 22665)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
An old man lived alone in Idah...
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.Dear Bubba:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later, he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Bubba
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Bubba
Answering Service At The Mental Institute
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.John and Tony were in the bar,
John and Tony were in the bar, pondering over Tony's problems."Andrea and I want to get married," said Tony, "but we can't find anywhere to live."
"Why don't you live with Andrea's parents?" suggested John.
"We can't do that," said Tony, "they're living with their parents!"
Which servant of God was the w...
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses -- he broke all ten commandments at once.Those laid off from my company...
Those laid off from my company are jobless person I fired.Bulk mail...
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
How does a pig go to hospital...
How does a pig go to hospital?Government Philosophy: If it a...
Government Philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is.Old man to young boy: Can you ...
Old man to young boy: Can you come closer? I'm a little deaf and can't hear what you're saying from over there. Boy: I'm not talking to you -- I'm chewing gum!Ponderings Collection 42
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
Maine Crazy Law
Augusta
To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
Portland
Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
In one small rural town the sh...
In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's animal Vet. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?""Well, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked.
"Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."
Lewinsky's Reply
Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, in response
to President Clinton's testimony "I have had enough. This
whole experience has eft a bitter taste in my mouth, and I
can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft,
that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in
myface.
"This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard,
that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in
the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet the
challenge the only way I know how: head-on. "I have licked
bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one
will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a
finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work
nonstop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean
of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it. "Thank
you." Monica Lewinsky
