Popular jokes (91 to 105)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
A man boarded an airplane and...
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.."
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
World Pasta Day day jokes
October 25 is World Pasta Day! Have some fun with pasta and pasta jokes!
A blonde walks into a library and she asked the librarian “Do you have pasta?”
The librarian rolled her eyes and answered “Miss, this is the library.”
The blonde whispers “Do you have pasta?”
Why couldn’t the pasta get into his house?
Because he had gnocchi!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way. So sad that he ran out of thyme.
Why did the man get fired from the pasta factory?
He made a fusilli mistakes.
Where did the spaghetti go to dance?
A meat ball!
Why did the pasta call up his friend?
He was feeling canneloni.
What kind of pasta can make all your wishes come true?
Fettugenie.
How come no one ever invites ravioli to a party?
He’s a little square.
Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?
Because his car always ends up al dente.
Do you have any other pasta jokes?
I’ll give you a penne for your thoughts.
Some pasta puns
I’m such a hopeless ramen-tic.
Noodles are part of my daily rotini.
No need to be ravi-lonely, I’m here.
I’m crazy pho noodles!
I cannelloni do so much
Don’t make fusilli mistakes.
That is tortellini awesome!
Don’t judge me because udon know me
Come and spaghet it.
Spaghett out of my way!
You just spaghet-me!
The battle of spaghettisburg.
I walked right pasta and didn’t even notice!
Life is full of pasta-bilities.
Can you pasta sauce please?
This too shall pasta.
You mac me smile.
Merry Christmas! Jokes To Lighten Up Christmas Mood
Multi-colored lights are the Crocs of Christmas lights.
Frank Lowe @GayAtHomeDad
What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
Wait, there's myrrh.
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
What song does Beyonce like to perform during the holidays?
All the Jingle Ladies.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow time to waste. It's almost Christmas!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for Christmas cookies!
Merry Christmas! Lot more Christmas jokes in our Christmas jokes collection
Your lips are so chapped, I ca...
Your lips are so chapped, I can hear you smile.Lottery Winnings
I won $3 million on the Lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity.
Now I have $2,999,999.75!
New Skunk Band
Did you hear about the skunks that started a boy band?
They are calling themselves "The Back Streak Boys"!
Worth A Try
Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks.
If you are diving and are approached by a shark, they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible.
If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump.
Near-sex Experience
I just had a near-sex experience…
My whole wife flashed before my eyes.
Sergeant Abuse
A sergeant gives a private a hard time. He says, "Private, I bet you are just waiting for me to die so you can come and urinate on my grave!"
The private replied, "No sir, when I get out of the army I am not going to stand in more long, long lines!"
Iron Man And Iron Woman
What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
Iron Man is a superhero.
Iron Woman is a command.
Balloon Prank Fake Out
April Fool's Day is coming up, so you need to be prepared with an arsenal of hilarious pranks that you can play on friends, family members and bitter enemies. 
