Popular jokes (10486 to 10500)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Redneck Medical Terms
Benign - What you be, after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when patients die
Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan - searching for kitty
Cauterize - made eye contact with her
Colic - a sheep dog
coma- a punctuation mark
D & C - Where Washington is
Dilate - to live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - quicker than someone else
Fibula - a small lie
Genital - a non-Jewish person
GI series - world series of military baseball
Hangnail - what you hang your coat on
Impotent - distinguished, well-known
Labor pain - getting hurt at work
medical staff - a doctor's cane
Morbid - a higher offer
Nitrates - cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - a person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - a letter carrier
Recovery room - place to do upholstery
Rectum - darn near killed him
Secretion - hiding something
Seizure - a Roman emperor
Tablet - a small table
Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport
Tumor - one plus one more
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - nearby / close by
The Best Part of Sunday Service
A preacher notices a man that comes to his church for every service. The preacher asks the man what his favorite part of the service is. The man replies, “Communion.”Then the preacher asks, “Why is communion your favorite part of the service?”The man then replies, “Because it’s the only time Jesus’ blood tastes like grape juice.”-Whats the difference
What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
One line jokes-Miracle drug
Liza: Do you believe in a miracle drug?Donna : Sure I do. If it is now available at the same price as last year.
Dextrocardia
I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up her machine, I told her I have dextrocardia.
“What's that?” she asked.
“It means my heart is on the right side of my chest rather than on the left,” I answered. “You should set up your machine to accommodate that.”
As she attached the wires, she asked casually, “Tell me, have you had that for long?”
A lion woke up one morning fee
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.He went out and cornered a small monkey, and roared, "Who is mightiestof all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!"
Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is themightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiestanimal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who ismightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk,slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feelinglike it'd been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corntortilla and rambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollersafter the elephant, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don'thave to get so upset about it!"
My sister is marrying an organ thief...
My sister is marrying an organ thief. She says she wants a man after her own heart, someone who can de-liver her from her troubles, and who'll take care of her two little kidneys after she's gone.A defendant asked the judge to...
A defendant asked the judge to appoint a new attorney to represent him. "For what reason?" the judge asked.The defendant said the public defender assigned to him wasn't interested in his case.
The judge addressed the man's attorney, "Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?"
The attorney replied, "I'm sorry, your honor, I wasn't listening."
Remote control...
The clerk asked me, "Cash, check or charge?" after ringing up my purchase.
As I fumbled through my wallet, she noticed a remote control for a television set in my purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote when you go shopping?" she asked.
"No," I replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the best way to get even with him!"
Two old guys were chatting....
Two old guys were chatting.....One said to the other: "My 85th birthday was yesterday.The wife gave me an SUV".
Other guy responded: "Wow, that's amazing!!.....Imagine, an SUV!!.. What a great gift!"
First guy: "Yup !!.... Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"
Why did Britney's suicid
Why did Britney's suicide attempt fail?A man at the airline counter t...
A man at the airline counter tells the rep. Id like this bag to go to Berlin, this one to California, and this one to London.The rep says, Im sorry sir. We cant do that.
The man replied: "Nonsense. That is what you did last time I flew with you."
Deeper meaning
Deeper meaning to Education.
Education takes away 25% of your life to teach you how to throw away the other 75% of your life.
Q: Why did Adele cross the roa
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
A Dear John Letter
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball lottery.
