Popular jokes (10606 to 10620)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Many Hands
A Hindu devotee asked God, represented by the multi-armed Lord Narayana, this question. "My dear Lord," he said. "I understand that you have innumerable inconceivable potencies. But out of all of them the energy of light seems to be the most amazing. Light pervades the spiritual world, it illuminates the material universes, and life is impossible without it." He continued, "I would like to know how you make it work.""Oh, that's easy," was the reply. "Many hands make light work."
#joke
Complete vs Finish
Wife: "What is difference between complete and finish?"
Husband: "When you met me, you were complete. When I met you, I was finished."
#joke #short
Things heard at a proctolog
Things heard at a proctologist's office..."Take it easy, Doc -- you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
"Can you hear me NOW?"
"Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
"You know, in some states, we're now legally married."
"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
"You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do theHokey Pokey...
"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
"If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
"Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
"Remind me never to become an altar boy."
"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?!!"
"Deflector shields: Down!"
"How long have you been in politics?"
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Irish Pub Jokes
Murphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields.
Murphy said, "Where are we now?"
The guide said, "We're in the great state of Texas."
"It's a big place," said Murphy.
The guide said, "It's so big, that your County Kerry would fit into the smallest corner of it."
And Murphy said, "Yes, and wouldn't it do wonders for it!"
Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manyana'. Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He said that the term means "maybe the job will be done to-morrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?" The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish. "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency.", replied Brennan.
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Bought A Bad Computer
Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer
- Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
- It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
- In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.
- It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".
- The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.
- Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.
The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"
The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"
The only chip inside is a Dorito.
You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.
