Popular jokes (11176 to 11190)Jokes sorted by popularity on social networks. Popularity is sum of all all comments, likes, pluses, tweets, etc. is new measure, independant from rating with our star rating system. |
Q. What's the diffrence betwee...
Q. What's the diffrence between preachers and Christmas trees?A. They both have balls but just for decoration.
Recently Seen
Recently seen on a card...
Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...
Inside: ... We had to stay up all night lighting them!
A husband says to his to frien...
A husband says to his to friend: "My wife wasn't happy with the bag and belt I gave her for her birthday – but at least the vacuum cleaner works better."A foursome is waiting at the m
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically: "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help."One of the men immediately replies: "No, you see there is your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Home sick...
A friend was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancee called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her.
"Okay honey", she told him, "We'll wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!"
Gay family
A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 tequilas.
The bartender asked, "what's wrong," and the guy says that he just found out that his younger son is gay.
The bartender says, "he's sorry about it." After a couple of days the guy comes back and orders 15 tequilas.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong now," to which the guy responds That he found out that his older son was gay, too.
The bartender says that he's sorry. The guy returned a few days later and ordered 20 tequilas.
The bartender burst out, "Isn't anyone in your family gettin' any pussy?!"
The guy gets really pissed and says, "Yeah, my wife!!!!!"
My friend William moved to Ire
My friend William moved to Ireland, and now he's a Billy in Eire.“The junior librarian...
“The junior librarian was reincarnated as a bookmark because he always knew his place.”
A Bible study group was discus...
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, " We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.""Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment."
Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"
A gentleman said, " I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives."
"Very good!" ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction."
"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks."
Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, "Why your mother-in-laws home?"
Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, "Because, that would be the longest 4 weeks of my life!"
“They are showing 'T
“They are showing 'The Green Mile' at the big house today. It's a conflict.”
