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Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (556 to 570)Jokes about blondes. These are funny jokes with blondes! These are the jokes listed 556 to 570. |
Short Gender Jokes
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What men know about women!
Why don't men eat more M & M's?
They are too hard to peel!
What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?
Gifted!
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature!
Why are blond jokes so short?
So men can remember them!
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up!
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares!
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know - it's never happened.
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
What's a man's idea of housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home!
What did God say after he created man?
I can do better than this!
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer!
How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
What's the best way to force a man to do situps?
Put the remote between his toes.
How do men define a 50/50 relationship?
We cook/they eat we clean/they dirty we iron/they wrinkle!
Ring the bell
Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.
The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
"Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you want?"
"I just want to know why you can't ring the bell for yourself?"
Submitted by Curtis
Edsited by Glaci
Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
Chinese laundry....
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me, is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He say, "Hans Olaffsen." Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"
"I say, Sem Ting."
Warning
IF A MAN COMES TO YOUR FRONT DOOR AND SAYS HE IS CONDUCTING A SURVEY AND ASKS YOU TO SHOW HIM YOUR BOOBS, DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR BOOBS.THIS IS A SCAM. HE ONLY WANTS TO SEE YOUR BOOBS.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday.
I feel so stupid.
Signed,
The Blonde
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Clark Kent
Did You Hear About The Blond?
Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a n*dist camp for a game of strip poker?
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
