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Blonde jokes - jokes about blondes (1186 to 1200)Jokes about blondes. These are funny jokes with blondes! These are the jokes listed 1186 to 1200. |
The Blonde Police Of
Three blondes are training to be police officers. The man who is training them takes out a picture and asks the first blonde, "What do you notice about the man in this picture?"The blonde says, "He only has one eye!".
The man says "No, no, it's a side view."
Then he says to the second blonde, "What do you notice about this man?"
. The 2nd blonde says, "He only has one ear!".
The man says "Hello, it's a side view! Geez!".
So the man goes over to the last blonde and says, "What do you notice about this man?"
. The final blonde says, "He wears contacts!"
The man goes to the FBI computer and looks the man in the picture up - sure enough - he wears contacts!
The man says, "How did you know that?"
. The blonde says "Well, if he only has one eye and one ear, how can he wear glasses?"
.
Emergency Kit
Josh was helping Sally, the blonde, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside.Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for.
She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."
Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"
Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."
Beetle Experiment
One day, a blonde was left alone in a lab with a beetle. She examined it and decided to do an experiment.She pulled off one of its legs, then asked it to run. The beetle obeyed her command.
Then, she pulled off a second leg and asked it to run. It did, but with a lot of difficulty.
Finally, she pulled the remaining legs off and asked it to run. It couldn't.
"I have made a new discovery!" the blonde cried. "When you pull all of a beetle's legs off, it becomes deaf!!"
This blond came into the airpo...
This blond came into the airport to buy a ticket to Porta Viarte. When asked if she wanted a coach or first class she said, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Porta Viarte on vacation." Again the agent asked, "will this be first class?" The blond answered, "no, make it coach." So the ticket was processed for coach.The blond went to the gate, handed the agent her ticket and got on the plane, but she went to the first class section. The stewardess told her she would have to move to the back of the plane because her ticket was for coach.
The blond said, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going on vacation to Porta Viarte, I will go first class." So the stewardess asked another stewardess to see what she could do. Same thing happened. So they got the co-captain to help, same thing happened. So they asked the captain to help.
The captain looked at the blonde and smiled, bent over and said something in her ear. The blond jumped up, hurried to the back section and sat down. Now in amazement, the crew wanted to know what the captain said to her. The captain just smiled at them and said, I told her "the first class doesn't go to Porta Viarte."
The top ten reasons nipple rin...
The top ten reasons nipple rings for women are a BAD idea:#10. Pesky delays at airport security scanners.
#9. Potential law suits from elderly people with pacemakers looking for an easy buck.
#8. Your minister asks to see the "ring" and in a blonde moment you show him.
#7. For some reason, a simple comb now seems like a real threat.
#6. Mud wrestling as an occupation is no longer an option.
#5. Cats and babies are attracted to shiny things.
#4. You may now have to deal with Velcro nightmares.
#3. The aging process begins to take on a whole new meaning.
#2. Skinny dipping may be a challenge because of artificial lures.
#1. Lightning is not just something that happens to other people anymore.
First Class Blondie
A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.The blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blond problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.
Again, the blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."
The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blond with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blond girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.
She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.
He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."
One day a redhead, a bru...
One day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven.
God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven.
So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed.
The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed.
But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke.
God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet"
The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"
A blonde pushes her BMW ...
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She approaches the mechanic and tells him her car just died.
The mechanic spends a few minutes working on the car and gets it working smoothly again.
The blond looks at the mechanic and says, "So, what's the story?"
The mechanic replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."
In a state of amazement she answers, "How often do I have to do that?"
Question And Answer Blond Jokes
Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
Q: How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Jealous Revenge
A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."
A young blonde woman is ...
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up... you're next!"
Sitting ...
Sitting round a small coffee table in a room of an international insurance company, a group of 4 people waited for a job interview. There was an Englishman, a Frenchman, a spectacular looking blonde and an awful looking fat lady.After 15 minutes in complete silence, and avoiding each other's eye contact, there was a power cut. The unmistakable sound of a slap was heard. Two minutes later the power came on again and the Frenchman had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
The blonde thought - "That French son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake must have put his hand on the fat lady who slapped his face"
The fat lady thought - "This dirty old Frenchman laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
The Frenchman thought - "That damned Englishman put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".
The Englishman thought - "I hope there's another power cut soon so I can smack that French twat again".
