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Short jokes - funny one liners (4241 to 4280)

Short jokes - funny one liners (4241 to 4280)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4241 to 4280.

“I tried to tell the

“I tried to tell the doctor the long story about how I hurt my thumb. It was all disjointed.”

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Jim took two enthusiastic swin

Jim took two enthusiastic swings at the golf ball and missed both times.
He looked up at his companion and said, "That's funny - this course is two inches lower than the one I usually play."
#joke #short #sport #golf
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

“When the trucker tri

“When the trucker tried to salvage metal from batteries, he was overcome by D-cell fumes and threw up in the zinc.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.46/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (13)

Love and Cherish till …..

A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes.
'Darling, how I've missed you!'
The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, 'Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!'

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 7.98/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (47)

What are the three quickest wa

What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumor?
1. Telegram
2. Telephone
3. Tell a woman
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

“I swear I thought of

“I swear I thought of an ice pun, it just slipped my mind.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“I touched an electri

“I touched an electric eel the other day. It was shocking.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (10)

People were dying to...

“People were dying to meet the new mortician.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

“I got a job working

“I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

 Knock Knock Collection 070


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Frida!
Frida who?
Frida be!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Fruit!
Fruit who?
Fruit of the loom!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gabe!
Gabe who!
Gabe it my all!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gable!
Gable who!
Gable to leap buildings in a single bound!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gabor!
Gabor who!
Gabor'n to shop!

#joke #short #fruit
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

I am sorry doctor...

"I'm sorry doctor, I know this is unusual but I seem to have a lettuce stuck in my bottom!"
"Good grief," the doctor replies, "I'd better take a look."
"It's worse than that," the doctor says after the examination. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.89/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (19)

“There's no definiti

“There's no definitive way to tell if someone is completely colour-blind. There's a lot of grey area.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

A little old man shuffled slow

A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
#joke #short #fruit #banana #orange
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Teacher: Today, we're going t

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful", which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

“I used to date a den

“I used to date a dentist. She was a real looker, but it didn't work out. The conversations were like pulling teeth.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

“In order to become a

“In order to become a teacher, Anna would have to chalk up the skills first.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

“Feather dusters are

“Feather dusters are used to clean parakeets.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

New Way to Play Doctor

Two kids were deciding what game to play.
One said, “Let’s play doctor!”
“Good idea,” said the other. “You be the doctor who operates, and I’ll be the patient who sues.”

Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

After a quarrel, a wife said t

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

There was a joke abo...

“There was a joke about fishing I was going to tell you. Oh no, I forgot the line!”

#joke #short #sport #fishing
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

A Criminal Lawyer

'Excuse me,' a young fellow said to an older man, 'I've just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers?'
'Well,' replied the older man, 'I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able to prove it yet.'

Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

“Rabbit relationships

“Rabbit relationships are based on a financial transaction. If he's got the doe she gets a buck.”

#joke #short #animal #rabbit
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

After twelve years in prison...

After twelve years in prison, a man finally escapes.
When he gets home, filthy and exhausted, his wife says, "Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.46/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (13)

“Moonlighting at stan

“Moonlighting at stand-up comedy, the baker was known for his rye humor.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

“A drummer who became

“A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat.”

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.08/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (12)

“When orders for acet

“When orders for acetone, benzene and methanol plummeted, the chemical plant became insolvent.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

“I lost my job at the

“I lost my job at the quarry, I guess you could say I've hit rock bottom.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

 Who Would Steal?


The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!"
The other partner replied, "What are you worried about? We're both here."

#joke #short #food #lunch
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.18/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (11)

 Excuse For Speeding


A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding??? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me."

Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

“The life of a lens m

“The life of a lens maker is a real grind.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

“The Greek god Pan lo

“The Greek god Pan loved cooking utensils.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

“I spent a summer wor

“I spent a summer working on a rabbit farm. It was a hare raising experience.”

#joke #short #animal #rabbit
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (8)

 Hair

Your hair is so nappy ever time you comb it somebody get shot at.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.50/10

Rating: 1.5/10 (8)

“So you went to a bre

“So you went to a bread factory? Guess you had a crummy day.”

#joke #short #food #bread
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

 Hard Of Hearing


Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

#joke #short #drinks #coke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 9.17/10

Rating: 9.2/10 (6)

On New Year's Eve, Ann stood

On New Year's Eve, Ann stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.
#joke #short #newyear
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

“It's no easy tusk t

“It's no easy tusk to make a walrus pun!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

During a recent password audit...

During a recent password audit, our I.T. discovered a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento
When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 7.03/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (38)

What does the starship enterpr

What does the starship enterprise and tiolet paper have in common?
They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

“The semaphore signal

“The semaphore signals from the ghost ship were hard to follow, due to their flagging spirits.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Jokes Archive

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