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Short jokes - funny one liners (4481 to 4520)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4481 to 4520. |
Royal TV dramas play K
Royal TV dramas play Kate the masses.You Want Me to Stay?
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.
As he walked to the door she yelled, 'I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.'
He turned around and said, 'So, you want me to stay?'
Microwave ovens are in
Microwave ovens are in a minute objects.Is It Really Stealing?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
Geraniums....
"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?"
Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
It was hard when I gave up Isl
It was hard when I gave up Islam to study proctology. They declared me a prostate.I try to speak the language of
I try to speak the language of hamsters. But the translation gets all gerbiled.Imagine the puns if Clinton we
Imagine the puns if Clinton were president. They would be Hilary US.“When you dig up ghos
“When you dig up ghosts from the past, burying them again is a phenomenal undertaking.”
A farmer passes by an insane a
A farmer passes by an insane asylum with a load of fertilizer. One of the inmates calls out, "Hey! Watcha hauling?""Fertilizer."
"Whadaya gonna do with it?"
"Put it on my strawberries."
"Gee. We put cream on ours, and they call us crazy!"
“In the Episcopalian
“In the Episcopalian church, erring canons cannot be defrocked - they can only be fired.”
As a diet guru, I advocated th
As a diet guru, I advocated that everyone have twice-daily bowel movements. Now I'm two-poopular for my own good.There are few guarantees in li
There are few guarantees in life but a blue sky is azure thing.NASA is full of yes men. They
NASA is full of yes men. They should call it YASA.What do you like best about me....
I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me....
"Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"
She replied....
"Your sense of humor, dear."
The satisfaction of telling pe
The satisfaction of telling people to go to hell is eff ‘emeral.“I used to not like N
“I used to not like Newtons, but now they're my favorite snack. Go fig.”
Cop: "I'm sorry sir, but your
Cop: "I'm sorry sir, but your wife has been involved in a fatal car accident and we'd like you to come with us so you can identify the body."Husband: "I'm a bit busy right now. Can't you take a photo and tag me on facebook? If it's her I'll click 'Like'".
Your ass is on the line if you
Your ass is on the line if you misuse punctuation. And you don't have an asterisk.Please Advise
The School teacher sent home a note with her student.
The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.”
Mother sends a note back the following day, ”Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.'
Scarecrows don't frighten me nor do their empty threads. #joke #short
1970s partygoers enjoyed a
1970s partygoers enjoyed a high Quaalude of life.An elderly couple was attendin
An elderly couple was attending church services whenabout halfway through she leans over and says to him,"I just had a silent passing of gas, what do you thinkI should do?"He leans over to her and replies, "Put a new batteryin your hearing aid..."
