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Short jokes - funny one liners (4641 to 4680)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 4641 to 4680. |
"Mummy, that dentist wasn't p
"Mummy, that dentist wasn't painless like he advertised.""Why, did he hurt you?"
"No! but he yelled just like any other dentist when I bit his finger."
The black eye...
Mr. Bailey saw his son's shiner and demanded, "Scott, who gave you that black eye?"
"No one gave it to me dad," replied the spunky lad. "I had to fight for it."
“To the artificial ra
“To the artificial rainmakers every cloud has a silver iodide lining!”
A blonde was at home watching...
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car. "Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside.
"No, but it's okay - I got the licence plate number!"
I'm addicted to seaweed.
I'm addicted to seaweed. I must… seek kelp.Dicaprio looks stupid in ro
Dicaprio looks stupid in Leotards.Thank You, UPS
After my wife landed a coveted job offer from UPS, we went out of town to celebrate.
While on our trip, she was contacted by the company's Human Resources department with an urgent request to complete and send back her tax forms.
'No problem,' she said. 'I'll FedEx them right over.'
How would Alien Spider Trump r
How would Alien Spider Trump rule? A: By eggsackutive order.Monetize the Earth's atm
Monetize the Earth's atmosphere? That's a buyin' the sky idea.Avoid drinking too many Peruvi
Avoid drinking too many Peruvian cocktails. It might make your pisco sour.“Did you hear about t
“Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry? She had a filthy habit.”
Birthday surprise...
Jane was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it.
"I'm taking it to Sunday School and giving it to God." the little girl replied.
"He'll be just as surprised as I was at not getting a dollar like usual."
“The real estate agen
“The real estate agent was in a hurry because she had a lot to talk about.”
These days, even Hallowe’
These days, even Hallowe'en comes with tricker warnings.In Saudi Arabia, it is punisha
In Saudi Arabia, it is punishable by death to eat the mail. You'll be declared a post ate.Sherlock Holmes novels are sex
Sherlock Holmes novels are sexist! As are all mister-ies.“While walking throug
“While walking through the jungle with a black marker, I spotted a leopard.”
The Smell of Confusion
If people say they just love the smell of books, I always want to pull them aside and ask, To be clear, do you know how reading works?
Who was Genghis Khan's f
Who was Genghis Khan's favourite Disco artist? The Killage People.“Rather than be fired
“Rather than be fired from the borscht factory, I beet them to the punch by telling them to take their job and schav it.”
Awkward
When Relatives Attack
There is nothing more awkward than the moment you realize you’re getting a double-cheek kiss.
Is my business just a cover fo
Is my business just a cover for the Mafia? I take a front to that.“I wrote a novel abou
“I wrote a novel about religious women. The library put it in the nun fiction section.”
A Wife Once Observed
I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, “Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!”
Note: Actually more than 1 wife has made the same observation!
“Along the West Coast
“Along the West Coast, you can buy abalone shells for about $10 a nacre.”
From Human Resources
A Businessman On Perfection…
The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.
