|
Short jokes - funny one liners (5121 to 5160)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5121 to 5160. |
One day, I saw a friend of min
One day, I saw a friend of mine crying over a bag of chips.I asked him what's wrong and he said that he was just following the instruction written on the bag of chips.
"Tear here to open!"
#joke #short
Luft hansa, p
Luft hansa, please, if you've ever been on a German airline.#joke #short
A man was bragging about his s...
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army."But wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too, won't she?"
"Sure," replied the man.
"Well? Won't they find out?"
"And who's gonna tell?"
#joke #short
My sister explained to my neph
My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up.Tyler was exuberant at the prospect.
"Cool!" he said. "I hope I get a German accent."
#joke #short
Embarking on a rail journey is
Embarking on a rail journey is guaranteed enter trainment.#joke #short
Nick Kroll: Dreamcatcher
I actually keep a dreamcatcher above my bed. But then, just to be fair, I keep a picture of my dad next to it so that I can have a dreamcrusher there as well.#joke #short
The most well-insulated part o
The most well-insulated part of the brain, aka cerebral Goretex™.#joke #short
“I have a difficult t
“I have a difficult time discerning fine jewelry. I guess I've been out of the loupe too long.”
#joke #short
There was a teacher who was sh
There was a teacher who was shouting at his class because they were being lazy. "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% of you failed this math class," he said.One of the kids rasies his hand, "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said.
#joke #short
The worst way to be crucified?
The worst way to be crucified? Die agonyly.#joke #short
Invisible
A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."
The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."
#joke #short
Punctuality
A company owner was asked a question, 'How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?'
He smiled & replied, 'It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces.
...... One is paid parking.'
#joke #short
Do terrorists seek inu
Do terrorists seek inure peace?#joke #short
Favorite Henny Youngman Quote
Upon Entering the Friars Dining Room
'I would like a table by a waiter'
#joke #short
Swollen, pus-filled body tissu
Swollen, pus-filled body tissue is certainly an abscession of mine.#joke #short
I have to admit, I am a pretty
I have to admit, I am a pretty smart guy. I know all the right answers!Unfortunately, everyone asks me all the wrong questions.
#joke #short
Your Wife Just Fell Out
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
#joke #short
The Inspired Sermon
The pastor was greeting folks at the door after the service. A woman said, “Father, that was a good sermon.” The priest replied, “Oh, I have to give the credit to the Holy Spirit.”“It wasn’t THAT good!” she said.#joke #short
A new hair salon opened up for...
A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place.They put up a big bold sign which read: "WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!"
Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign: "WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!"
#joke #short
Nicki Minaj is a huge procrast
Nicki Minaj is a huge procrastinator, always gettin' behind in her twerk.#joke #short
I was visiting my daughter las...
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.".
I can tell you this... That fly never knew what hit him!
#joke #short
One friend says to another, "D
One friend says to another, "Did you know that the shortest sentence in the English language is 'I am'?""Really?" replies the other. "What’s the longest sentence?"
“I do.”
#joke #short
