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Short jokes - funny one liners (521 to 560)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 521 to 560. |
When Jesus rose from the dead
When Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to Mary Magdalene, in disbelief, she exclaimed “No way!”I have a cool aunt
I have a cool aunt. I call her Auntie Freeze.
On Your Marks
Two n*dists were discussing politics.
One says, “Have you read Marx?”
The other nods, “It’s these blasted wicker chairs."
Eunuchs tend to be chivalrous.
Eunuchs tend to be chivalrous. As the French say, ‘nob-less oblige'.Come On Mister
A naked man runs into a tailor's shop.
The tailor says, "You can't be in here with no clothes on!"
The man says, "Come on mister, cut me some slacks?"
Can You Hear Me Now
Matt: "It's times like this that I wish I'd listened to what my Dad always said."
Jake: "What did he say?"
"I don't know, I wasn't listening."
My friend from Manila is a dru
My friend from Manila is a drunken wino. He's always Filipino noir.The Inuit don't allow fe
The Inuit don't allow females on the hunt. Sadly, there is still a glass sealing.
I realized I was an incredibly
I realized I was an incredibly huge giant when I injured the mall of my back.
Go For Broke
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE!”
I’m happy to report that I succeeded.
If Ferris were pontiff, heR
If Ferris were pontiff, he'd be very Pope Bueller.Too Many Roaches
Health inspector: "I'm afraid you have too many roaches in here."
Restaurant owner: "How many am I allowed?"
High seas
I don't like the high seas. If I ever went on a pirate ship, they would clock me in the groin, and call me ‘gland clubber!‘ Did you know about P. Diddy
Did you know about P. Diddy's record? He spent a few years in J-Lo. Then he left, because he didn't want to be friends with Bennifers. 
World Book and Copyright Day Joke
April 23rd is World Book and Copyright Day! Find a joke about it!
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have any books on how to create suspense?"
The librarian pauses for a moment, then says, "Yes, but I'm not going to tell you where they are!"
#worldbookandcopyrightday
The Old Nephew
My 7 year-old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans.
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but... look at the phones that kids your age are making in China!"
Lotsa Amore
Just reading that there's a small Island off the coast of Italy with 5 million Sicilian people.
That's the biggest number I've ever heard.
When I got rejected by a woman
When I got rejected by a woman who was hooked up to life support...it was so invalid dating.
Fondue jokes
What's the reason you don't hear a lot of fondue jokes?
Most of the time, they're excessively cheesy.
Look forward to trip to Europe
Why did the cannibal look forward to his trip to Europe?Because he had a Swede tooth.
Celebrity pastry chef
Now that I'm a hotshot celebrity pastry chef,I drive a Studebaker
Spoon Me
Yesterday the Police arrested me for unsolicited Spooning...
I wasn't charged, they just held me over night.
Which I loved, by the way.
Why do vegetarians have no sen
Why do vegetarians have no sense of humour?Because they are irony deficient!
Color Me Purple
I just found out I'm colorblind.
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple
