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Short jokes - funny one liners (5201 to 5240)

Short jokes - funny one liners (5201 to 5240)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5201 to 5240.

How do fish keep up...

“How do fish keep up with what's going on? They listen to the current news.”

#joke #short #animal #fish
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife.

She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."

He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

Kristen Schaal: Family Friendly

I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 2.18/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (11)

Finalizing My Divorce

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license.
'Will there be any change of address?' the clerk inquired.
'No,' I replied.
'Oh, good,' she said, clearly delighted. 'You got the house.'

Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Dentist: Little Johnny, you'r

Dentist: Little Johnny, you're not brushing your teeth very well. Do you know what comes after decay?
Little Johnny: De 'L'?

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Dentist: Little Johnny, you'r...

Dentist: Little Johnny, you're not brushing your teeth very well. Do you know what comes after decay?
Little Johnny: De 'L'?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

I want a girlfriend with regul

I want a girlfriend with regular bowel movements, and I'll search the gal laxy to find her.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Is old rope good eno...

“Is old rope good enough for a hanging? Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

No Whey José.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

No Whey José.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
  • Currently 9.44/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (9)

The Search for a Pastor During Bible Times

Dear Member,We d
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“Old skiers go downhi

“Old skiers go downhill fast.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Don't spell part backwards

Don't spell part backwards.

It's a trap!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Q: What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

Q: What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

A: They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Mc Joker - Funny jokes creator, hates monday
  • Currently 8.47/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (15)

Complaining about the lack of

Complaining about the lack of sunlight in some countries is an ethnic solar.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Why did the piece of...

“Why did the piece of cheese go to the gym? To get shredded!”

#joke #short #food #cheese #sport #gym
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

Clothing a midget is hard. Tha

Clothing a midget is hard. That's why they launched the Human Jean-Gnome project.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

If you want to see my duck, yo

If you want to see my duck, you better make it quack.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Surfing while middle-aged requ...

Surfing while middle-aged requires a lot of forty dude.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

Using a prism allows...

“Using a prism allows me to see the sun in a different light.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

Job application...

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.

The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you."

"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"

"It's called the door!"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.12/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (17)

The ancient Buy-balone

The ancient Buy-baloneyians loved processed meats.
#joke #short #food #meat
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“There are two skelet

“There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

While out on the town, the win

While out on the town, the wine lover had diarrhea and chardonnay cab.
#joke #short #drinks #wine #chardonnay
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“What do you call it

“What do you call it when cafe customers complain about their coffee? A brouhaha.”

#joke #short #drinks #coffee
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Totally miserable men

Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too:

"A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry."she told him.

"Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you planning to marry?"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 6.85/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (13)

My boss is turned on by fish.

My boss is turned on by fish. One day he made a bass at me.
#joke #short #animal #fish
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

“How do trains drink?

“How do trains drink? They chug.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

In France do the birds take it

In France do the birds take it up the oiseaux?
#joke #short #animal #bird
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“What did the man say

“What did the man say when the bridge fell on him. The suspension is killing me.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

What did the Australian chess player say to the waitress?

What did the Australian chess player say to the waitress?

"Check mate"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

I saw an Apple store get robbed

I saw an Apple store get robbed.

I was an iWitness

#joke #short #fruit #apple
Joke | Source: Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
  • Currently 4.77/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (13)

I don't get the point of

I don't get the point of aliens. I just look at them and ask ‘Whatta UFO?'
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

New Year's resolutions

My wife still hasn't told me what my New Year's resolutions are.

#joke #short #newyear
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

New Year's resolution

People keep talking about their New Year's resolution.

I use 1080p

#joke #short #newyear
Joke | Source: Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

I've noticed the strangest th...

I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars alot.
It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: They have nowife to go home to... or they do.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.47/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (15)

My girlfriend's belief i

My girlfriend's belief in astrology taurus apart.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Don't kill an Italian st

Don't kill an Italian stereotype. That's ginocide.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

“I used to work at a

“I used to work at a hospital, but I got sick of it.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

What hapiness is

A man doesn't know what hapiness is until he's married.

By then it's too late.

Frank Skinner (January 28 1957-)

Picture: Reuters

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 9.38/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (8)

Jokes Archive

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