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Short jokes - funny one liners (5401 to 5440)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5401 to 5440. |
If people are talking about yo...
If people are talking about you behind your back - then just fart.An app-based bra-sharing servi
An app-based bra-sharing service: Büber. The competition is Lift.A radio announcer was introduc...
A radio announcer was introducing a record, "The next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven. Hey, Charlotte, that's a ripe old age, isn't it?"There was a short pause and then the DJ said, "I'm sorry, I got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill."
Public pool
Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool.
"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to report you."
"But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny.
"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"
Jimmy Carr: Teasing
My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'
True or false...
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
How do London taxi drivers stu
How do London taxi drivers study for their licensing exam? Road memorization.
Answering Machine Message 229
If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.
Nobody liked the e-bike rider
Nobody liked the e-bike rider because he just moped around.
Pretending to be happy
Pretending to be happy: Raise your hand if you have been acting like you are all ok, but inside you are really not. 
“Trichinosis offers e
“Trichinosis offers eaters of raw pork two choices: cease and desist, or cyst and decease.”
Phoenix is so dry because it&#
Phoenix is so dry because it's in an arid zone-a.“To expectorate is ba
“To expectorate is bad grammar, because it is a spit infinitive.”
Las Vegas is so dry. They shou
Las Vegas is so dry. They should call it the No'wada desert.Trump wants to deport Mexicans
Trump wants to deport Mexicans. He's going to rename the Sunshine State: aka Cull a foreigner.
“This small hoodie fi
“This small hoodie fits pretty great, it's just hard to pull off.”
I went to an English hotel. It
I went to an English hotel. It was a great Brit inn.
You're doing just fine w...
You're doing just fine without an Irish accent. If it ain't brogue don't fix it. Now that they allow...
“Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker.”
A married friend told me, he i...
A married friend told me, he is working on Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics under constrained environment.... I was impressed...
On further probing, I learnt that he is washing dishes with hot water ...
Under his wife's supervision...!!
Hallowe'en is a boogus h
Hallowe'en is a boogus holiday.Dialogue in the Australian air
Dialogue in the Australian airport...Customs officer (checking documents): "Have you ever been in prison?"
A citizen of Great Britain: "Is it still necessary?"
“Walter struggled sto
“Walter struggled stopping his car in driving school. You might say he was breaking bad.”
Answering Machine Message 97
"Camptown Races":
I can't come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.
Leave your message when you hear the tone; oh, de doo-dah day.
Might be gone all night... Might be gone all day...
So leave a message when you hear the tone.
I'll call you back someday...
“I read this book abo
“I read this book about Mount Everest. It was quite the cliff hanger.”
