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Short jokes - funny one liners (5841 to 5880)

Short jokes - funny one liners (5841 to 5880)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5841 to 5880.

Anyone who eats fish and chips

Anyone who eats fish and chips every day is a creature of halibut.
#joke #short #animal #fish
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

I don't mind kids p...

“I don't mind kids playing hopscotch in most places, but my driveway is where I draw the line.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

SLIDESHOW #119 - Funny Photo Slideshow

April Fools’ Day Pranks - Tell your kid you bought them an iPad

I’m sorry, sweetie, did I say iPad? I meant I bought you an eye pad.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.43/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (14)

Some people should be thankful

Some people should be thankful that i can control the crazy.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Yo momma is so fat she went to

Yo momma is so fat she went to church with heels on and when she came back home they were flats.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Self help...

A man walks into a book store and asks the clerk if she could tell him where the "self-help" area is.

She replied, "Of course I can, but that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?"

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.83/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (12)

I deserted from Genghis Khan.

I deserted from Genghis Khan. I swore I wouldn't join Mongol Sam's army.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

APRIL FOOL'S DAY PRANKS - Drippy

Use a pin to make a few small holes in a plastic disposable cup. The holes should be near the top, just below the rim. Offer a drink to the victim and watch while the liquid dribbles out onto their shirt when they take a drink.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Q: What starts with F and ends

Q: What starts with F and ends with U-C-K?
A: Firetruck.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

I find insect vacations ron

I find insect vacations quite ant resting.
#joke #short #animal #ant
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Brilliant Prank For April Fools' Day

Try this “dollar in a book” trick.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

A man and a woman started to h...

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!"
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
#joke #short #food #eating
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

Q: Why didn't the sailors pla

Q: Why didn't the sailors play cards?
A: Because the captain was on the deck.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

What's the favourite rid

What's the favourite ride of Scotsmen? Eweber. It's sheeper than a regular taxi.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“The chef said it wou

“The chef said it would be rare moment if the waiter returned a steak with a burning issue after being so tender cooking it.”

#joke #short #food #steak
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

April Fools’ Day Prank Idea

Putting hole punched paper into someone’s car vents and turning the fan to max. You’ll soon be driving a snow globe.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

Q: If you have 13 apples in on

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.
#joke #short #fruit #apple #orange
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

You Know You're a Redneck If . . .

You know you are a redneck if you get written up on the

paper for a D.U.I. (driving under the influence of alcohol)

and your family buys extra copies.

#joke #short #drinks #alcohol #redneck
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

I love lumpy skin growths. But

I love lumpy skin growths. But then, I'm a mass o cyst.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

“Shakespeare's parro

“Shakespeare's parrot was the bird of Avon.”

#joke #short #animal #bird #parrot
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Balloon Prank Fake Out

April Fool's Day is coming up, so you need to be prepared with an arsenal of hilarious pranks that you can play on friends, family members and bitter enemies.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (10)

A woman was at the pharmacy an

A woman was at the pharmacy and asked, “Can I get Viagra here?” The old pharmacist replied, “Yes.” She asked, “Can I get it over the counter?” He responded, “If you give me two of them, you can.”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Poorly dubbed films are full o

Poorly dubbed films are full of video syncracies.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

“Batman bought a fedo

“Batman bought a fedora. He wanted to be the capped crusader.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Yo momma's so fat, she played

Yo momma's so fat, she played the role of the boulder in the first Indiana Jones movie.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A tyrant is like bad weather:

A tyrant is like bad weather: The reign never lets up.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

“When the church boug

“When the church bought gas for their annual barbecue, proceeds went from the sacred to the propane.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

How many people yelled into this door?

How many people yelled into this door? (April Fools' Day pranks)
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

You are never too old

You are never too old
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

I'm not calling you a slut, I

I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Coffee

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

#joke #short #drinks #coffee
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Don't mess with a fat ba

Don't mess with a fat baby. Better instead to give him or her a wide birth.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

“I put my phone on vi

“I put my phone on vibrate. An hour later I finally got a text massage.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Fill Oreos with white toothpaste

Grand April Fools' Day pranks, as impressive as they are, require careful planning. And though massive, meticulously planned pranks certainly gets a rise out of unlucky prankees, it's the subtle pranks that pack the most surprise.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 1.44/10

Rating: 1.4/10 (9)

Twisted people i know

Some of the most sick, twisted people i know are the ones i am proud to call my Friends.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Q: What do cats eat for breakf

Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.
#joke #short #animal #cat #mice #food #breakfast
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

I took my bovine to the vet, b

I took my bovine to the vet, but he wouldn't cow operate.
#joke #short #animal #cow
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Knock Knock...

Q: HOW MANY ZEN BUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: Three. One to change the lightbulb, one NOT to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Fill hollow Easter candies with mustard

Grand April Fools' Day pranks, as impressive as they are, require careful planning. And though massive, meticulously planned pranks certainly gets a rise out of unlucky prankees, it's the subtle pranks that pack the most surprise.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Banana and the vibra

What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

#joke #short #fruit #banana
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

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