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Short jokes - funny one liners (5881 to 5920)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 5881 to 5920. |
Answering Machine Message 15
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
#joke #short
Two men broke into a drugstore
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.#joke #short #policeman
Drinking salt water makes you
Drinking salt water makes you crazy. You'll end up like Frank Costanza: “Salinity now! Salinity now!”
Which underwater creature freq
Which underwater creature frequents brothels? A: Seahorse.#joke #short
Manage my anger
I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people could manage their stupidity. #joke #short
You'll never see a ro
You'll never see a million hair putting everything into a shavings account. Instead he makes bald decisions, even if they be pure follicle.#joke #short
“A nun who said night
“A nun who said nightly prayers in the shower did so out of habit.”
#joke #short
The old man moved to Hawaii to
The old man moved to Hawaii to live the life of a dentured surfing dude.#joke #short
The trick
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it's too late for them to back out. #joke #short
Marriage Studies Findings
A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"
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#joke #short
To soon to tell?
The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!"
The husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?"
#joke #short
“My wife has a cold.
“My wife has a cold. This morning she woke up and had her morning coughy.”
#joke #short
Relationship
In a relationship one person is always right and the other person is a male. #joke #short
My friend drives a steamroller
My friend drives a steamroller. He's a grade guy, a real smooth operator. He has a nice flat, and a level head. He's really into community surface.#joke #short
The Buddhist Hotdog Vendor
A Buddhist approaches a hotdog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."He gives the vendor a $20 bill and waits. Finally he says: "Where's my change?"
Says the vendor: "All change must come from within."
#joke #short
Ska band vs. Moose
What's the difference between a ska band and a moose?
A moose has horns in the front and its a**hole in the back, a ska band has...well...the opposite arrangement.
#joke #short
People on social media are so
People on social media are so selfish. It's always meme meme meme.#joke #short
Some people don't like me
I realize that some people don't like me. I also realize that i don't give a minions ass. #joke #short
Before you start to judge me
Before you start to judge me, step into my shoes and walk the life i'm living, and if you get as far as i am, just maybe you will see how strong i really am. #joke #short
Urethra vs. Garden Hose
Q: What's the difference between a urethra and a garden hose?
A: Well, let me tell you, there's a vas deferens...
#joke #short
I want to sell my ears. Somebo
I want to sell my ears. Somebody offered me aural for them, but I won't take any lobal offers. I'm gonna play the cartilage I was dealt. I gotta drum up some cash. The deal's gonna be done tinnitus. Ring it through: I bid my ears, ‘audios‘.#joke #short
