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Short jokes - funny one liners (601 to 640)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 601 to 640. |
Going On My Own
Little Annie: “Mommy, mommy, I’m going to the bathroom on my own!”
Mommy: “Good girl! #1 or #2??”
Little Annie: “If there’s a #2, it must be hiding...”
You should be thankful for my
You should be thankful for my many criticisms – I'm giving you piece of mind.
Daylight saving time
Why did the clock go on a diet?
Because it wanted to lose an hour!
Hear about the diet soft drink
Hear about the diet soft drink for Boomers? Empty Nestea.Googled My Symptoms
I’ve been feeling a bit moody & run down recently, so I googled my symptoms to see what I have.
Kids…
I have kids!
NED: If I grab your ass in a b
NED: If I grab your ass in a bar, it's not my fault.ED: Why's that?
NED: Because I suffer from copaphilia!
That year I had excruciating d
That year I had excruciating diarrhea was, as they say in Latin, my anus horribilis.I just got a job running Old M
I just got a job running Old McDonald's farm. I'm the new CEIEIO.Baby Maybe
Saleswoman: "When this baby doll is put to bed, it goes to sleep just like a real baby."
Mrs. Williams: "Whoever made it didn't know much about real babies."
When the President of Harvard
When the President of Harvard elected to fumigate the entire university, people accused him of having loused his faculties.Family Genetics
The topic for my third-grade class was genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think I passed on to my children?”
One student called out, “Wrinkles!”
The fil
The film about the time composer Johann Sebastian so desperately needed money, he prostituted himself?I did a scientific study of st
I did a scientific study of strippers. Now I'm just waiting for the lap results.
#joke #short
Pest Behavior
Diner: "Waitress, I don't like all these flies buzzing around my plate."
Waitress: "Don't worry, sir, just show me the ones you don't like and I'll get rid of them."
Happy St Patrick's Day
"That guy was so happy that it's St Patrick's day, that he was literally bouncing off the walls!"
"Who was it?"
"Rick O'Shea."
You’re dumping me for a chartered financial analyst? Go ahead, CFA care. #joke #short
Fortune telling
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says: "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic: "Next semester, in her biology class."
Are midgets mean?
Are midgets mean?When a hippy gets married, whe
When a hippy gets married, where does she move to? A: Mississippi.In All Shapes and Sizes
Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes...
Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
When I mistook the piece of cr
When I mistook the piece of crap for the sausage, my day immediately took a turd for the wurst.Don't steal someone else
Don't steal someone else's dildo: You'll be convicted of criminal wrongdong.Nice Caboose
I took the train to NYC today and the conductor paid me the nicest compliment as I was boarding...
They said, “First class rear..."
I spat gum out onto a wall
I spat gum out onto a wall – and now it's gotten stucco.Photographers don't like
Photographers don't like puns. If you tell them one they tend to shutter.Toy Production Line
I just got a job making plastic Draculas.
There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second Count.
