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Short jokes - funny one liners (6481 to 6520)

Short jokes - funny one liners (6481 to 6520)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 6481 to 6520.

I'm so ugly

I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004)

Picture: Reuters

Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

Jehovah's Witnesses and halloween

TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate halloween...

I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors

Joke | Source: Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - The funniest sub on reddit. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts!
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #240 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Waiter, I'd like some...

"Waiter, I'd like some chicken. The younger the better."
"Good, I'll bring you an egg!"
#joke #short #animal #chicken #food #egg
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

Dressed as El Niño

Dressed as "El Niño" for Halloween
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

My wife found a way...

My wife found a way to hide her candy from the guys at work.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

Flies In The Beer

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands the mover, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 2.18/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (11)

Weekly coffee evolution

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
#joke #short #friday #monday #drinks #coffee
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

There are three kinds of men...

There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.73/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (11)

Q: What's the importance of c

Q: What's the importance of capitalization?
A: You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse.
#joke #short #animal #horse
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

"God said it, I believe it, that settles it!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

THANK GOD...

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!!!
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Q: Why can't you trust an ato

Q: Why can't you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Pimp

Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A: A pimp.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by calamjo

#joke #short #animal #sheep
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

The champion ballet...

“The champion ballet dancer watched his feat in the video footage!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

I was wondering why the ball k...

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

Hunting With A Wife

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?"
The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife."
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My wife."
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

I'm going to make l...

“I'm going to make like a turtle and get the shell out of here!”

#joke #short #animal #turtle
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

WORST HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS...

WORST HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS FOR A RETIREMENT HOME EVER
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

A little girl asked her father

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"
He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If elected I promise...'"
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Yo mama is so nasty when she p

Yo mama is so nasty when she put a cucumber in her panties she pulled out a pickle!
#joke #short #yomama #food #cucumber
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

They just found a sw...

“They just found a sword swallower dead. The police suspect it's an inside job.”

Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

For birthday husband...

For birthday husband bought wife a bath scale, as a joke. For his birthday, she bought him a ruler.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.22/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (18)

Yo mamma so stupid her passwor...

Yo mamma so stupid her password needed 8 characters, so she typed "Snow White and the 7 dwarfs."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

A distraught investor called h...

A distraught investor called his financial advisor. “Is my money really all gone?”
He wailed. “No, no,” the advisor answered calmly. “It’s just with somebody else!”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

I lost some memory i...

“I lost some memory in my computer, but I didn't mind one bit.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

SURPRISE!

SURPRISE! It's Monday again!
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

My lesbian neighbors gave me a...

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

I hate needles, they...

“I hate needles, they're the vein of my existence.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Coach: What this team needs is

Coach: What this team needs is life!
Manager: Aw, coach, don't you think thirty days is enough?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

In case of emergency...

In case of emergency pull poster off wall end tear along dotted lines.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

MONDAY FACE

MY MONDAY MORNING FACE
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

What stays in one corner bu...

Q: What stays in one corner but travels around the world?
A: A stamp.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

A man seating on a window seat...

A man seating on a window seat discovered two engines on fire. He began to holler, two engines on fire! Two engines on fire! The passengers began to panic. Suddenly the pilot ran from the cockpit with a parachute on his back. “Don’t worry”! He yelled. I’m going for help!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Cast Out of Eden

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. "Your mother ate us out of house and home."
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

I never forget a face, but in

I never forget a face, but in your case I will make an exception.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

When I go to casinos, the most...

When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (12)

Yo momma's breath smelled so

Yo momma's breath smelled so bad when she walked by a clock it said, "Tic Tac."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Islands

Q: What do you get when Dolly Parton does the backstroke?

A: Islands In The Stream.

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Tantilazing

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

“Look, Charlie,” the coach...

“Look, Charlie,” the coach said, “you know the principles of good sportsmanship. You know the Little League doesn’t allow temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language.” “Yes sir, I understand.” “Good, Charlie. Now, would you explain that to your father?”
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

School Prayer Solution

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

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