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Short jokes - funny one liners (6521 to 6560)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 6521 to 6560. |
“If you can't choose
“If you can't choose between an angry psychic and a sad psychic, you'll have to find a happy medium.”
Enterprise
What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
They both circle Uranus (your anus) in search of Klingons (cling-ons).
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
The flight attendant was point
The flight attendant was pointing out to passengers that their seats could be removed and used as floatation devices. One woman, on her first flight, said, “I’d prefer to be sitting on a parachute!’“My daughter asked me
“My daughter asked me if I was having fun doing the laundry. I replied, 'Loads.'”
There are TWO distinctly...
There are TWO distinctly different holes up there. Not one all-purpose hole. 
Joe’s dad scolded him for br...
Joe’s dad scolded him for breaking a neighbor’s window with a baseball. - “What did he say to you when you broke his window?” asked the father.
- “Do you want to hear what he said with or without the bad words?”
- “Without, of course.”
- “Well, then, he said nothing.”
Only in America...
Only in America: We work hard on a farm so we can move into town, where we can make more money… so we can move back to the farm. I'm struggling to c...
“I'm struggling to catch my breath while I'm struggling to lose my breadth.”
Hanging out with sky...
“Hanging out with skyscraper builders is so boring! It's story after story.”
A woman walked up to the manag
A woman walked up to the manager of a department store. "Are you looking to hire any help?" she asked."No," he replied. "We already have all the employees we need."
"Great, then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?" she snapped.
Password eight characters long
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Nick Helm
Andrew Crowley
Yo momma's so dumb, when your
Yo momma's so dumb, when your aunt had twins, she asked yo momma to name them. She named one Denise, and the other Denephew.
I have low self-esteem
I have low self-esteem; when we were in bed together, I would fantasise that I was someone else.
Richard Lewis (June 29 1947-)
Picture: Startraks Photo/REX
My girlfriend said she was sick of me pretending to be a detective
My girlfriend said she was sick of me pretending to be a detective...
...and that "we should split up"
"Good idea", I said, "that way we can cover more ground"
A psychiatrist received a post...
A psychiatrist received a postcard from one of his clients who was vacationing in Spain. “I’m having a great time!” “Wish you were here to tell me why.” “When the swimmer rec
“When the swimmer recovered from her stroke she decided to dive right into kicking her bad habits.”
A thin girl
I met a beautiful girl last night, but she was rather thin. I mean this is a skinny girl. You never saw anybody so thin. She turned sideways you didn’t see her. I took her to a restaurant and the maître'd said to me, 'Can I check your umbrella?'
Mel Brooks (June 28 1926-)
Picture: Kim Kulish / AFP
Dyslexic boyfriend
My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.
Victoria Wood (May 19 1953)
Picture: BBC
A nervous passenger decided to
A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter. She had some time before the flights departure, so she stopped in a Chinese restaurant in the concourse. She started to shake as she read her fortune cookie: “today’s investment will pay big dividends!”
Last night, it was so cold
Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.
Johnny Carson (1925-2005)
Picture: AP
A 97 year old man goes into hi...
A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says,"Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex driveis all in your head?"
"You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I wantit lowered!"
Q: What is the lightest thing...
Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it.
How Much
Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?
"Five bucks, sir."
"And how much for my suitcase?"
"No charge for the suitcase, sir."
"Okay. Take the case and I'll walk."
The American education and Pink Floyd
The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd.
...
They've left those kids a loan.
