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Short jokes - funny one liners (6761 to 6800)

Short jokes - funny one liners (6761 to 6800)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 6761 to 6800.

Q: What do you call a belt wit

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

 Answering Machine Message 99


Beethoven's Fifth:
Nobody's home.
Why did you phone?
Please leave your message here when you have heard the tone,
And we will call you back as soon as we get home.
Your message here,
After the tone,
Here is the tone... tone... BEEP

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Unattached Witches

Q: What do you call a coven of unattached Wiccans?
A: Craft singles!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A blonde goes to the doctor's...

A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Finding a crashed plane in the

Finding a crashed plane in the Pacific is atoll order.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

"Honk if you think I'm Jesus"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“When the farmer died

“When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder. They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.”

#joke #short #animal #bird #chicken
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

10 years ago we had Johnny Cas...

10 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

Your chances are better...

An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing.

"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.

"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (14)

Where are there the most weddi

Where are there the most wedding dress shops? A: Aisle of White.
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

The salesman claimed...

“The salesman claimed the shoes were made from alligator, but I knew it was a crock.”

#joke #short #animal #alligator
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Best friends are like siblings

Best friends are like siblings from different parents.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Why didn’t the melons get...

Q: Why didn’t the melons get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe.
#joke #short #fruit #melon
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Who's gonna do The Daily

Who's gonna do The Daily Show? Jon's too hurt.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Buying Stamps for Hanukkah

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Hanukkah stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman replies, "Oh my. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“Poultry farmers lay-

“Poultry farmers lay-off old layers to set off paltry income!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Don't take life too seriously

Don't take life too seriously. You will not get out of it alive.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

The best kind of people are

The best kind of people are the ones that come into your life and make you see sun where you once saw clouds. The people that believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. The people that love you simply for being you. The once in a lifetime kind of people.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A blonde was playing Trivial P

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was: "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Whoever invented knock knock j

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

What's the OS of gamblers?

What's the OS of gamblers?
- Windows.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“Have you read the bo

“Have you read the book about hands? It's a real page turner.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Making Memories

We didn't realize we were making memories. We just knew we were having fun.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

What's green, slimy, and smel

What's green, slimy, and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Cross

What do you get when you cross a French man and a black man?

Jacques Custodian.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by calamjo

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

Carpenters are poly ha

Carpenters are poly hammerous. They even do it with nailiens.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Learning to walk in...

“Learning to walk in high heels will keep you on your toes.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (11)

Two cannibals are eating dinne

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
#joke #short #food #dinner #eating #mother
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Ass Kissing & Brownnosing

Q: What's the only difference between ass kissing and brownnosing?

A: Depth perception.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

The term for an unwashed wine

The term for an unwashed wine connoisseur is ‘smellier'.
#joke #short #drinks #wine
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Every time i lose some weight

Every time i lose some weight i find it back again at the refrigerator.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 6.44/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (9)

If you want to know who is rea...

If you want to know who is really man’s best friend, put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, come back an hour later, open the trunk, and see which one is happy to see you.
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (12)

Diet coke

Did you hear about the blonde who was sniffing nutrasweet?

She thought it was diet coke.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Yisman

#joke #short #blonde #drinks #coke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

 Recently Seen


Recently seen on a card...
Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...
Inside: ... We had to stay up all night lighting them!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

A man walks into a piano store...

A man walks into a piano store and says, "I would like to buy a hairy piano." Perplexed, the sales clerk asked, "Why do you want a hairy piano?!" Nonchalantly, the customer responded, "Well, the last piano store only had Baldwins."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Getting the queen of daytime T

Getting the queen of daytime TV to lose weight is a complicated Oprah ration.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.57/10

Rating: 1.6/10 (7)

Corn maze for ...

Corn maze for blondes!
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.23/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (52)

Don't text me while i'm in the middle of texting you

Don't text me while i'm in the middle of texting you. Now i have to change my whole text.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games. Sajt vise ne radi
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Q: Did you hear about the new

Q: Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll in stores now?
A: It comes with all of Ken’s stuff.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

The first Apple iPhone in fran

The first Apple iPhone in france was likened to a Pomme Pilot.
#joke #short #fruit #apple
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Jokes Archive

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