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Short jokes - funny one liners (6881 to 6920)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 6881 to 6920. |
An old woman is upset at her h
An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral. "You have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit." The mortician says, "We’ll take care of it, ma’am," and yells to the back, "Ed, switch the heads on two and four!"The first years...
Children:
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet.
Don't try this at home
They say don't try this at home… So i'm going to go to my friends house and try it In the first year of marriage,
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.“Proper punctuation c
“Proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written.”
No desire to do anything
I'm currently suffering from NDTDA : No desire to do anything syndrome! 
The toilet at my local police...
The toilet at my local police station has been stolen. The cops have nothing to go on. Which bus...
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, I've got news for you. "You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Shoot, I'm on the wrong bus!"
When do you kick a midget in t
When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells good.“After injuring my up
“After injuring my upper arm and wearing an ice pack, my wife accused me of giving her the cold shoulder.”
When my girlfriend said she wa...
When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face. If you have an opinion about my life
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Innkeeper: "The room is $1
Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
How does a mobster turn down f
How does a mobster turn down fudge? A: “Fudgegettaboutit!“Slap the idiot
Does anybody else have a voice in their head that repeats “Slap the idiot, Slap the idiot!” No? Just me? hmm… Odd! Did you hear about the guy who
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.Blocked and unfriended
Being blocked and unfriended by some people is like the trash taking itself out. 12 Days of Red-Neck Christmas
Sung to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas"
12 pack of Bud
11 rasslin tickets
10 a Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 pack of Redman
6 cans of spam
5 FLANNEL SHIRTS....
4 big mo tires
3 shotgun shells
2 hunting dogs
and parts to a Mustang GT...
“How did school go today? a
“How did school go today? a mother asked her little boy. “Fine”, the little fellow replied. “We had a new teacher and she wanted to know if I had any brothers and I told her I was an only child”. What did she say?” his mother asked. “The teacher said, “Thank goodness”
That dead
A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis.
He called in his receptionist to show her.
She took one look and said, "That's just like my Harry's."
"You mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked.
"No," she replied. "That dead."
“When I saw the White
“When I saw the White Cliffs of Dover, I realized that the old saying was true. Chalk is steep.”
A guy says to the bartender...
A guy says to the bartender, "A glass of your finest Less, please." "Less? Never heard of it."
"C'mon, sure you have."
"No, really, we don't stock it. What is it? Some kind of foreign beer?"
"I'm not sure. It was my doctor who mentioned it. He said I should drink Less."
Crazy people don't know they are crazy
Crazy people don't know they are crazy, I know i'm crazy therefore i'm not crazy. Isn't that crazy. I never wanted to believe that
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.Q: What do you call a midget p
Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?A: A small medium at large.
Company picnic...
A wife chewed out her husband at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times?"
"Not a bit," the husband replied. "I just tell them I'm filling up the plate for you....!"
