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Short jokes - funny one liners (7401 to 7440)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 7401 to 7440. |
April Fool's Day - Make your kid think the...
Make your kid think the principal called. Use your best acting skills as you tell your worried kid the principal’s laundry list of complaints.Beauty & the Beach
Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing -- it just waved.
Drinking Metamucil really gets
Drinking Metamucil really gets the potty started.April Fool's Day - Toilet Surprise
Print out a life-size face (this can be anyone-someone in your family, a monster, a celebrity, your victim, or even yourself). Attach it to the underside of the toilet seat facing up. Now close the lid to the toilet. When your victim lifts the lid, they will get a scare! A boy asks his father, "Dad, a
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."Yodelling is a cry for rong
Yodelling is a cry for alp.April Fool's Day - Freeze your kid’s morning cereal
Freeze your kid’s morning cereal. Put a bowl of your kid’s favorite cereal and milk in the freezer overnight, then watch in the morning as your unsuspecting kid clanks a spoon against the frozen milk.
Room With A View
A lady walked into a boutique and asked the sales lady "May I try on that cute dress in the window?"The sales lady replied; "Sure, but wouldn’t you be more comfortable in a dressing room?"
Heaven's Unitarian Population
Why are there are no Unitarians in Heaven?Because they heard there was a choice between going to Heaven or a discussion group about the existence of Heaven.
April Fool's Day - Serve a dessert grilled cheese
Serve a dessert grilled cheese. Your kids won’t be mad at you when they realize they get to eat poundcake and frosting.
Quick fire drinks
Guy walks into a bar and says, "Quick, give me three shots of your finest whiskey!"
The bartender pours the shots and the man downs them as quickly as he can.
Bartender says, "What was that about?" Guy says,
"You'd do the same if you had what I have."
Bartender: "What's that?"
Guy: "70 cents."
Hard
What is particularly long and hard for most Southern men?
Fifth grade.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
Answering Machine Message 180
(Loud music, John shouting:) HI, THIS IS JOHN, LET ME TURN DOWN THE MUSIC. (Loud footsteps, music turned down, a door slams.) Hi, this is the answering machine at John's home, he just rushed out the door, so please leave a message at the beep...
New secretary
A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither, He's bald."
Cannibal jokes are face eatiou
Cannibal jokes are face eatious.Curious George
One day the zookeeper noticed that the monkey was reading two books--the Bible and Darwin's "The Origin of Species."In surprise, he asked the monkey, "Why are you reading both those books?"
"Well," said the monkey, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
April Fool's Day - Rig a ketchup bottle...
Rig a ketchup bottle to squirt string instead of ketchup. Hot dogs are ready, kids. Tee-hee!
Catching a Squirrel
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
Knock, Knock
Who's the
Knock, KnockWho's there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup to me if you can, I have your wallet.
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?“I don't know why my
“I don't know why my eyeglass lenses were steamed up. I was mystified.”
April Fool's Day - Kid’s Socks
Sew one of your kid’s socks closed halfway down. If you’re the sewing type this prank will leave you in stitches. Call To Sarge
Two policemen call the station on their radio. "Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"
"Yes?"
"We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet."
Eat with the stars
What a rip-off! Once I ate in a Hollywood restaurant that had a big sign outside' "EAT WITH THE STARS."
Turns out the restaurant was a converted planetarium.
What eye wooden do
What eye wooden do for a prosthetic eyeball.“Although there were
“Although there were bombs everywhere at the party, it was still a blast.”
April Fool's Day - Moldy sandwich
Send your kid to school with a moldy sandwich. The sandwich is fine, of course. It’s the sandwich bag that has green markings on it.
"Grandma, how long have you an
"Grandma, how long have you and Grandpa been married?" asked young Nina."Fifty years," Grandma replied.
"That is so wonderful," exclaimed Nina. "And I bet in all that time, you never once thought about divorce, right?"
"Right Nina. Divorce, NEVER. Murder, lots of times, but never divorce."
