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Short jokes - funny one liners (761 to 800)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 761 to 800. |
If a proctologist smells well,
If a proctologist smells well, it's because he wears expensive colon. As for urologists, they prefer eau de toilette.#joke #short
Waiting for the Echo
A man climbs up to the top of a mountain. He shouts "I love you!" and waits for the echo.
The echo comes replies, "I have a boyfriend!"
#joke #short
After my friend and I underwen
After my friend and I underwent painful foreskin removal – we found ourselves in strange circum stances#joke #short
Just Checking
A 5-year-old said grace at a family dinner one night. “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes.”When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken.He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if he was paying attention tonight.”Despite its claim to fame, I d
Despite its claim to fame, I don't think much of Venezuelan carpentry. There's quite a few Caracas in the armoir.#joke #short
New Year's Resolution
This year I made my New Year's Resolution...
To finish everything I sta...
#joke #short #newyear
Why did Britney's suicid
Why did Britney's suicide attempt fail?#joke #short
Anyone contemplating back surg
Anyone contemplating back surgery should read this disc lamer.#joke #short
The most famous novel about gl
The most famous novel about glaucoma is a tie between Eye, Cloudious, and You Less Sees.#joke #short
Devil's Advocate
My wife and I had a disagreement and she said, "You always play devil's advocate!"
I said, "Well, not all the time."
#joke #short
Gordon Gecko retired from Wall
Gordon Gecko retired from Wall Street and got a job at Walmart. “Greet,” he said, “is good.”#joke #short
The Scotsman went to Kiev. He
The Scotsman went to Kiev. He heard it was easier to pick up a lover in the Ewekraine.#joke #short
People who work out too much a
People who work out too much are like monsters. Aka the Abdominal Show-man.#joke #short
Intensity of dog flatulence?
Intensity of dog flatulence? Why, that's measured by the Bowfart Wind Scale!Vacation
My friend Jim told me that when he asked his wife where she wanted to go on vacation, she said that being married to him was a vacation.
When I commented that was a nice thing to say to him, Jim replied, "Well, actually, what she said was I was the 'last resort.'"
#joke #short
Filling sausages for a living?
Filling sausages for a living? That's a wurst-case scenario.#joke #short
First Time at a Unitarian Service
A man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service for the first time, and later is asked what he thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to," he replies, "the only time I heard the name of Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the stairs." #joke #short
The movie about impotent llama
The movie about impotent llamas was set in a post alpaca limp dick war zone.#joke #short
If the Magi Were Women...
You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don’t you?The three wise WOMEN would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the Baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and given practical gifts. #joke #short
Was Dick Cheneyron
Was Dick Cheney into bondage?#joke #short
When is a knot not a knot? A:
When is a knot not a knot? A: When it’s not.#joke #short
What Is This?
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?" #joke #short
Verbal diarrhea: losing contro
Verbal diarrhea: losing control of one's vowels, also a sign of in-consonants.#joke #short
Low budget horror movies do a
Low budget horror movies do a lot for the Eeek!onomy with scares resources.#joke #short
It's the end of the r
It's the end of the colander. Have funnel on new year's sieve.#joke #short #newyear
A Jewish Mother After Hanukkah
A man received two sweaters for Hanukkah from his mother. The next time he visited her, he made sure to wear one of the two sweaters. As he entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"
