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Short jokes - funny one liners (7641 to 7680)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 7641 to 7680. |
Pessimist...sees a dark tunnel
Pessimist...sees a dark tunnel.Optimist...sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
Realist...sees a freight train.
Train operator...sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
“The church insisted
“The church insisted on a new seminary graduate. They were looking for greener pastors.”
Don't Pay For Me, Daddy!
A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates.When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."
Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love
Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Mama so stupid!
Your Mama is so stupid, she sits on the Television and watches the sofa.
Knock Knock Collection 202
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zippy!
Zippy who?
Mrs Zippy!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zizi!
Zizi who?
Zizi when you know how!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zone!
Zone who?
Zone shadow scares him!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zookeeper!
Zookeeper who?
Zookeeper away from me!
My friend said he knew a man w
My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Steve, so I asked him, "What's the name of his other leg?"Real sad
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
> it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks
You know, it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks:
- Daddy, is this organic?
- Organic?
I grew up on Angel Delight! We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!
Dylan Moran (November 3 1971)
Picture: @LatitudeFest
Yo momma's so fat, her belt s
Yo momma's so fat, her belt size is "Equator."Depressed Proctologist
Did you hear about the depressed proctologist?
He's been feeling down in the dumps.
Man from Bandoo
There once was a man from Bandoo
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He dreamed of Venus
And played with his penis
And woke up with a hand full of goo
To win at intramural prison so
To win at intramural prison softball your team needs to jail at the right time.If something about the human body disgusts you
If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
Lenny Bruce (1925-1966)
Picture: AP
Auto-correct walks into a bar...
Auto-correct walks into a bar
And the batman says, "why the log fence?"
A drunk staggers out of a bar
A drunk staggers out of a bar and lets go of a loud belch just as a couple are walking in the door. The man yells at the drunk, "How dare you belch before this woman!" The drunk says, "I'm sorry! I didn't know she wanted to go first."A Raise
"Sir," said the timid employee to his boss, "my wife says I'm to ask you for a raise."
"Fine," the boss replied. "I'll ask my wife if I can give you one."
Political kingmakers m
Political kingmakers make it reign.I shouldn't say bad stuff about illiterate people
@birbigs
I shouldn't say bad stuff about illiterate people.
I should write it.
http://on.cc.com/16GHqVB
If the right side of the brain
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.Dear John,
I ha
Dear John,I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement.
Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart.
I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
“The carpenter purcha
“The carpenter purchased his measuring stick at a yard sale last week.”
A man is being arrested
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!" Definition of Diplomacy
Q: What is the definition of diplomacy?
A: The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Why The Bad Plays?
A true story, according to the LA Times.....
Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"
Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
At The Bar
I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there... that's going to be us in ten years."
I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!"
