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Short jokes - funny one liners (9641 to 9680)Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 9641 to 9680. |
“I went to the theatr...
“I went to the theatre, it looked a bit suspicious. I reckon the whole thing was staged.”
Kick the habit
"No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well."
"You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often."
“When my husband aske...
“When my husband asked me if I wanted a new alarm clock I said I was set.”
“The ophthalmologist ...
“The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness.”
Chuck Norris drew the line and...
Chuck Norris drew the line and made Johnny Cash walk it.Just think, in a few million y...
Just think, in a few million years Barney will be motor oilVery funny jokes-First Twitter Date
Betty: ummm... I don't think so.
Brad: Well then how about my Twhirl pool?
Betty: Look.. you're a cute guy, but after seeing your Fail Whale this just isn't going to work!
“When the lumber baro...
“When the lumber baron was unable to log in, his business ended in a forced shut down!”
“A plastic surgeon wh...
“A plastic surgeon who specializes in breast implants is a front end manager.”
Man's worst nigh
Q: What is a man's worst nightmare? A: A hooker with a chipped tooth & the hiccups.“The bald man decided...
“The bald man decided to consider a hair transplant to rogaine his confidence in looking younger.”
Short funny jokes-Degrees
"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees".
The right watch
A man had a watch that didnt work. He ask his friend to tell what is wrong. The friend say " Its because the watch is on your right hand."The man puts the watch on his left hand and says "Oh there we go!"
What you watching that for?
The missus was watching a cooking program the other day.
I said, "What you watching that for? You can't cook."
She said, ........"You watch porn!!."
Hat Tip: Thomas Ben
Joke of the Day, posted everyday on getfrank.co.nz - Click to see the past weeks worth right here...
And a day was born...
God: "Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth."
Angel: "What are you going to do now?"
God: "Call it a day."
Lesbian Diet
Q: Why cant a lesbian go on a diet and wear makeup at the same time?
A: Because they cant eat Jenny Craig and have Mary Kay on their face at the same time.
One line jokes-So important
(Advertising/Marketing Manager, United Parcel Service)
“The inept psychic at...
“The inept psychic attempted clairvoyance but just couldn't get intuit.”
Hilarious jokes-Dressing room conversation
"Boss," he says, "There's a problem. I'm not playing unless I get a cortisone injection."
"Hey," says David Beckham. "If he's having a new car, so am I."
Clinton Poll
Time magazine sent a survey to women in Arkansas, asking for their opinions on the Clinton Sex Scandal. One of the questions: Would you ever have an affair with Bill Clinton? The results were staggering!
5% — No
3% — Yes
92% — Never Again
An apple a day....
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. "Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away."
The Buddhist Hotdog Vendor
A Buddhist approaches a hotdog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."
He gives the vendor a $20 bill and waits. Finally he says: "Where's my change?"
Says the vendor: "All change must come from within."
Answering Machine Message 258
You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
Easy diagnosis....
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
